Episode 76 - Is This Thing On?

[00:00:17] What's up everyone and welcome to episode 76 of the Promptly Written Podcast, where every month we take a writing prompt provided by you, write stories based on it, then break them down for you. My name is Matt Sugerik and with me as always, Ian Lewis. What's up Ian?

[00:00:30] Hey, what's up man?

[00:00:31] Not much. I just want to say like Merry Christmas to everybody. I know you're probably not listening to us on Christmas, but if you are, we're releasing it on Christmas and I think that's kind of exciting. I feel like we might have done this before we do this last year maybe?

[00:00:45] I don't recall.

[00:00:46] I think we did it once, but like, I don't know if you're listening to us on Christmas, like I'm sorry. I hope you have a better Christmas.

[00:00:54] You know, but if you are and it's making you happy and it's I mean, thank you.

[00:01:01] Yeah, so speaking of the holidays, I guess like do you have anything special going on or is it just kind of run-of-the-mill holiday stuff?

[00:01:10] Well, once you hear my story, perhaps you'll get a taste of what it looks like in some sense. It's obviously exaggerated, but yeah.

[00:01:18] Yeah, as of today recording, the first of my Christmases starts this evening.

[00:01:25] Oh, wow. The first of how many Christmases?

[00:01:29] Four.

[00:01:30] Well, four things that are tagged as actual Christmas get-togethers, but there will be other like mini probably things in between.

[00:01:40] Sure, sure.

[00:01:43] You know, four Christmases is kind of an underrated Christmas movie.

[00:01:47] Yeah, we talked about that last year.

[00:01:48] Yeah, it's really been creeping up in my list. Like I've already watched it a couple times this year.

[00:01:52] So if you guys didn't listen to us last year, go watch four Christmases. Good stuff.

[00:01:58] Pretty run-of-the-mill for me. You know, we do Christmas Eve at my mom's and then we do Christmas Day at our house, but it's just like the two things.

[00:02:05] So I don't envy the people that have to run around to multiple houses on the holidays. It just sounds like a cluster.

[00:02:13] It's a lot, yeah.

[00:02:14] Although for us, I think I saw something that said it might be a little warm. Well, not like warm-warm, but like no snow.

[00:02:20] Yeah, it's gonna rain, I think, on Christmas, yeah.

[00:02:21] So that's good for...

[00:02:24] It's good for travel, but like rain on Christmas is...

[00:02:27] Yeah, it's kind of shitty. Like I think if there's gonna be...

[00:02:29] It's kind of crummy.

[00:02:30] If there's gonna be precipitation, it should be snow.

[00:02:32] Right.

[00:02:33] As long as you don't have to drive.

[00:02:34] Just the dusting would be fine.

[00:02:37] And then it can stop completely for the rest of the year.

[00:02:40] Absolutely, absolutely.

[00:02:44] So if I sound a little different this month, it's because I had a little mishap at the office.

[00:02:50] Well, I didn't really have a mishap, but we had a mishap at the office.

[00:02:53] And if you've listened a long time, you know that I record in my office because my house can be kind of noisy.

[00:02:58] And we had like a ventilation leak above our office and like a bunch of water just dumped down through the ceiling.

[00:03:05] Sounds like a mess.

[00:03:07] Yeah, it was a giant mess.

[00:03:08] Like the carpet throughout the whole suite was soaked through and we literally had to pull all of our equipment out.

[00:03:14] I just went up to visit it a little bit ago and there's just dehumidifiers and fans running.

[00:03:20] They pulled down...

[00:03:21] They had this really gross like wallpaper in part of the suite.

[00:03:26] Like where I set...

[00:03:28] It's where I had my lights and background set up for like headshots and shit like that.

[00:03:32] It was just this really gross like old wallpaper.

[00:03:34] So they scraped that all off.

[00:03:36] There was so much glue on the wall behind it, but it looks like they finally got all that down.

[00:03:41] And all the walls are patched.

[00:03:44] I'm fingers crossed that they are going to replace the carpet because the carpet in my office is so freaking gross.

[00:03:52] But I mean like just to put it into perspective, like I've been...

[00:03:58] I've worked here for 15 years.

[00:04:00] My co-worker's been here I think at least five years longer than me and he's never known anything other than this carpet.

[00:04:06] So we're talking about like at least 20 year old carpet.

[00:04:10] Like literally the spot where my chair rolls around is like worn through.

[00:04:17] It sounds like a good time to replace it.

[00:04:19] It is, but unfortunately because of the way that this scenario worked out, it's like insurance.

[00:04:24] They have to go through insurance to cover all the damage or whatever.

[00:04:28] And I was talking to the guys that are working on like the renovations and they were like,

[00:04:34] yeah, well, we can't replace it unless we prove to insurance that it couldn't be dried.

[00:04:39] And I was like, come on, man.

[00:04:41] Like we were trying to get carpet last year and they were like, well, you're going to have to move everything out.

[00:04:45] And we just didn't want to do it because we have so much crap in there.

[00:04:48] You know what I mean?

[00:04:49] Like it's a full-fledged like we have like our office space, but then we have this tiny little like photo video studio completely built on in there.

[00:04:56] So moving the equipment is in, but now it's out of there.

[00:05:00] So we were just like, screw it.

[00:05:01] So hopefully fingers crossed, we get the carpet replaced.

[00:05:04] But yeah, if I sound different, it's because I'm using a different microphone.

[00:05:07] I'm in a different space.

[00:05:09] So it is what it is.

[00:05:10] We're just making do.

[00:05:13] Before we get into, I think we just got a little bit of follow-up today before we get to the stories.

[00:05:17] But how is, how is Riders of the Black Cowl going?

[00:05:22] I don't know, man.

[00:05:23] I almost forget that I wrote it.

[00:05:25] It's just like I finish a book and like I move on, which is not the right way to do it.

[00:05:30] Do you like, I don't know.

[00:05:32] You don't check in on like Amazon constantly to see if there's more people reading it or anything?

[00:05:36] Oh, well, I mean, I just generally keep an eye on the reports page that shows sales and pages read if it's through KDP.

[00:05:43] Got it.

[00:05:43] For any of the books, you know what I mean?

[00:05:45] Including promptly written stuff.

[00:05:46] Sure.

[00:05:47] I think I, you know, I sold some copies, but like it's, I'm not like actively promoting it really.

[00:05:52] Got it.

[00:05:53] You know what I mean?

[00:05:53] I'm not advertising it.

[00:05:54] I'm not doing any of that.

[00:05:55] So it's like, I just, I just kind of like, I'm not the marketing guy.

[00:05:58] I write it and like I, I'm done.

[00:06:00] I get interested in the new thing and I'm on the new thing, you know?

[00:06:03] It's funny.

[00:06:03] I feel like that's the same approach to the podcast.

[00:06:05] It's just like we record it, we throw it out there, but we don't really tell people about it.

[00:06:09] Right.

[00:06:10] Yeah.

[00:06:10] It's funny, but I'm actually reading it.

[00:06:13] We'll talk more about it later.

[00:06:13] Um, I started it and then I got swept up in finals week.

[00:06:16] So I put it down and then I had to start it again, but, um, we'll talk more about it later

[00:06:20] when we get to, uh, what we're reading.

[00:06:24] Real quick, just a little followup.

[00:06:26] I wanted to talk to you because, uh, last episode we brought up a number of like noir-ish type films,

[00:06:32] um, that we were going to go watch.

[00:06:34] And I'm just curious, were you able to, to go watch any of the movies we talked about?

[00:06:39] So I watched, um, Double Indemnity.

[00:06:43] Oh my God, that makes me so happy.

[00:06:45] Which I, which I enjoyed.

[00:06:46] That was good.

[00:06:46] Um, it was really interesting though to see Fred McMurray in that type of role.

[00:06:51] Cause I'm, I'm used to him as like the dad in the Disney movies.

[00:06:54] You know what I mean?

[00:06:54] Sure.

[00:06:55] Sure.

[00:06:55] That's what I'm used to.

[00:06:56] So it was interesting.

[00:06:57] Um, and what I really liked was, you know, in, I think it was probably seminal in this,

[00:07:02] in this sense, but like all the, like the noir lighting and stuff that they had in the

[00:07:06] shadows and that kind of thing.

[00:07:07] It was, I mean, it was, it was really well done.

[00:07:10] This is like textbook film noir.

[00:07:12] Like when you say film noir, this is one of the ones that comes up like always, this is

[00:07:16] one of the best ones ever.

[00:07:18] Like, and I think a lot of it, you know, a lot of it had to do with Billy Wilder and

[00:07:23] the way that he, he shot it and everything.

[00:07:26] But, um, I really, really like the chemistry between Fred McMurray and Barbara Stanwyck.

[00:07:32] You'll see it if you ever get to, to remember the night or they were in like four movies

[00:07:36] together, I believe.

[00:07:37] But, um.

[00:07:38] Yeah.

[00:07:38] I, I didn't, I could not get remember the night.

[00:07:41] Um, I did rewatch though the two Mrs. Carols cause I, that one wasn't as fresh in my mind

[00:07:47] whereas I had read, I had watched dead reckoning within the past five years probably.

[00:07:51] So I was able to watch the two Mrs. Carols.

[00:07:53] I forget where I watched it at.

[00:07:54] It was one of the streaming services.

[00:07:56] I probably should have looked that up before we recorded, but I'll throw it in the show notes

[00:07:59] wherever it's streaming at.

[00:08:00] But I want to say it's like, oh fuck.

[00:08:03] Let me just look it up real quick.

[00:08:06] Oh, it's on max.

[00:08:07] It's HBO max.

[00:08:08] Oh, okay.

[00:08:09] But I really enjoyed, I really enjoyed this as well.

[00:08:12] Yeah.

[00:08:13] I, I, I, I did like that one quite a bit.

[00:08:16] I'm just learning that I'm a, a Barbara Stanwyck fan.

[00:08:19] That's what you were saying.

[00:08:20] So I'm going to, I'm going to start deep diving maybe into this stuff because it was

[00:08:25] just, I don't know.

[00:08:26] I, I really like this time period.

[00:08:28] And I, I know there's probably a lot of people out there that hear that a movie was made in

[00:08:32] like the, the forties or whatever, and just kind of immediately dismiss it because of its

[00:08:37] age.

[00:08:38] But like, hate to remind y'all, like the wizard of Oz came out in 1939 and everybody loves

[00:08:43] the wizard of Oz.

[00:08:44] So like the second that somebody says that like, they don't like old movies, I'll be

[00:08:49] like, what about the wizard of Oz?

[00:08:50] And then they're like, oh, well, I guess.

[00:08:51] I think in, in general, I mean, it's interesting just to see the different, um, the difference

[00:08:57] in how acting has involved or evolved rather, um, a little bit just, you know, the, the, the

[00:09:03] methods and techniques.

[00:09:04] But I think really when you have those movies that don't have all the benefit of monitored

[00:09:10] technology for special effects and all that sort of stuff, like there's, there's a lot

[00:09:15] of times a lot more meat on the bones with regard to the story itself.

[00:09:18] And so that, that, that's more interesting in a lot of cases.

[00:09:21] Oh, a hundred percent.

[00:09:21] I mean, I think when you look at old films, I think the biggest difference that, that people

[00:09:26] are going to notice is just the pacing shots are longer.

[00:09:29] We're not talking about like three, four second shots where we're, we're switching angles

[00:09:34] constantly and going back and forth.

[00:09:35] It's like all the, the modern blockbuster stuff, especially like the Marvel with the computers.

[00:09:40] I mean, like the, the camera angles are constantly changing or constantly moving.

[00:09:44] I mean, and these, I mean, you're seeing long, like choreographed like scenes.

[00:09:51] And I'm just like from a, from a cameraman's perspective, having, having to track somebody

[00:09:55] across the room when we're dealing with film and all of this, it's just with the lighting,

[00:09:59] it's like, I don't know, it's just way different.

[00:10:02] I think more meat on the bones is, is a hundred percent accurate because they're taking the time

[00:10:07] to like really like produce what's on the screen as opposed to like these small shots that you're

[00:10:14] darting back and forth between, you know what I mean?

[00:10:16] Mm-hmm.

[00:10:17] Yeah.

[00:10:18] And, and I think that, that goes to your, your point about the acting too, you know,

[00:10:23] when you're working with shortcuts, you can take as many takes as you want because you

[00:10:27] might only need to get a line or two in before we're switching camera angles where, you know,

[00:10:31] we could be at a, a minute long shot where you could be 55 seconds into it and somebody biffs a line

[00:10:37] and you're resetting and starting the whole thing.

[00:10:39] So I think like just production in general.

[00:10:41] And while I'm on this tangent, film is a relatively young form of media, you know,

[00:10:49] talking like late 1800s.

[00:10:51] So we're only like maybe 120 years to 120 years into this art form.

[00:10:56] And it's progressed so much.

[00:10:58] Like I can't even imagine what's going to be happening on screen a hundred years from now.

[00:11:03] Yeah.

[00:11:04] Who knows?

[00:11:04] You know what I mean?

[00:11:05] Because this is really, really just like in its infancy, if you think about it and it

[00:11:09] is just progressed.

[00:11:11] Like technology has progressed.

[00:11:12] It's so much.

[00:11:13] So I don't know if it'll continue to progress at that rate or if we'll just get a slowdown,

[00:11:17] but it's going to be interesting to see.

[00:11:19] Yeah, it will.

[00:11:20] It will be.

[00:11:21] And then, um, dead reckoning.

[00:11:22] I wasn't able to watch yet just because I'm kind of cheap and it's $15 to

[00:11:26] buy in that streaming and any of the services.

[00:11:28] So I'm going to keep an eye out for, um, for that to go on sale and, and I'll watch it.

[00:11:33] But I'm excited.

[00:11:33] I think I've, I've, I've two weeks off here.

[00:11:36] So in addition to, to getting some, some writing done, I want to try to dive into some of this

[00:11:42] old noir stuff and watch some stuff that I've been meaning to watch and just never had time

[00:11:45] to.

[00:11:46] Nice.

[00:11:47] Yeah.

[00:11:47] So, um, you know, just for the sake of brevity and this being Christmas and all that, I'm thinking

[00:11:53] that maybe we just kind of dive right into the stories.

[00:11:56] What do you think?

[00:11:57] Yeah, that sounds good to me.

[00:11:59] All right.

[00:12:01] So why don't you remind people what this month's prompt was?

[00:12:06] So this month's prompt is, is this thing on submitted by Chris Bednar.

[00:12:13] Um, funny thing about the prompts is we had a side conversation about cutting off the prompts

[00:12:21] at a certain point.

[00:12:21] Yeah.

[00:12:22] Um, did not communicate that to the group because we, we had, we're recording later, obviously.

[00:12:28] Right.

[00:12:28] The poll ran longer.

[00:12:30] And so it, it, at some point I just had decided I'm going to use all of the prompts that were

[00:12:35] in there at that point in time.

[00:12:37] So how many prompts?

[00:12:38] Including, including the winning one.

[00:12:40] And then, well, I don't remember maybe four or five, but then after that point, there were

[00:12:46] two more prompts that were added.

[00:12:49] Oh no.

[00:12:50] And so I went in and re-added those in there too.

[00:12:53] So they're not quite as smooth as the other ones maybe, but they're in there.

[00:12:57] I absolutely love it.

[00:12:58] Yeah.

[00:12:59] Cause I completely forgot about that side conversation and we cut it off and I don't

[00:13:03] even remember if we put it out there, but then my dumb ass, like the day that we recorded

[00:13:06] that last episode was like, by the way, there's still time to vote.

[00:13:09] And you're like, wait, what?

[00:13:12] So I apologize for that, but I'm real excited to, uh, to see five prompts inserted into,

[00:13:18] uh,

[00:13:18] And it might be seven.

[00:13:19] I don't know.

[00:13:19] We'll see.

[00:13:20] Into one.

[00:13:20] That's insane.

[00:13:21] It's my Christmas gift to you.

[00:13:22] I kind of want to go, hold on.

[00:13:24] I'm going back to the group right now cause I want to see what these prompts were.

[00:13:29] Um, oh man.

[00:13:31] Why aren't these?

[00:13:33] They don't show up in order.

[00:13:34] Sometimes it's why don't they show up in order?

[00:13:36] That is maddening.

[00:13:38] Facebook is one of the worst UIs.

[00:13:40] I think.

[00:13:40] I don't understand.

[00:13:42] Oh, so is this thing on?

[00:13:45] Oh my God.

[00:13:46] There's so many, there's so many here.

[00:13:48] Okay.

[00:13:48] So here's what we got.

[00:13:49] We got tis the season.

[00:13:51] Why is it so cold in here?

[00:13:52] Why is it so hot in here?

[00:13:54] Why is the temperature so pleasant in here?

[00:13:56] Is this thing on?

[00:13:58] Why are you indifferent about the temperature and cool down?

[00:14:01] No need for a heated debate about temperature.

[00:14:06] Holy shit.

[00:14:07] I cannot wait to hear your story now.

[00:14:10] This is going to be amazing.

[00:14:12] And I feel like I let everybody down just using the one winning prompt.

[00:14:16] That's okay.

[00:14:18] All right, man.

[00:14:19] So, uh, why don't you kick us off here?

[00:14:21] Uh, I have a 2,900 word story.

[00:14:24] Woo!

[00:14:25] And the title is House of a Thousand Christmases.

[00:14:28] That's long for an Ian Lewis short story.

[00:14:32] Yeah, it's a little long.

[00:14:34] I dig it.

[00:14:35] I dig it.

[00:14:35] Hopefully it rolls right along.

[00:14:37] All right, man.

[00:14:38] Whenever you're ready.

[00:14:39] Okay, here we go.

[00:14:41] Becky and Dane pulled into the small town of Benton Hollow with near uncontainable glee.

[00:14:46] It was the pitch-perfect picturesque encapsulation of every Hallmark holiday film ever made.

[00:14:52] Charming storefronts.

[00:14:54] Idyllic decorations in every one.

[00:14:56] And slow, unhurried traffic patterns stretched out neat and tidy.

[00:15:00] Each Christmas they would travel to a Yuletide Mecca.

[00:15:03] Some place that would capture their festive fancy.

[00:15:06] They'd seen every Christmas museum.

[00:15:08] Every kitschy store.

[00:15:09] Every location of every holiday classic ever filmed.

[00:15:12] And this year it was Benton Hollow that had drawn them in.

[00:15:16] The postcards they'd seen were just as stellar as the pictures online.

[00:15:20] But it wasn't a place that was well known.

[00:15:22] It wasn't commercialized or overrun with tourists tipsy with spiked eggnog.

[00:15:27] No.

[00:15:28] It was an exquisite, pristine piece of Americana.

[00:15:31] Unspoiled by the glut of consumerism that could be seen in every other corner of the country.

[00:15:36] This is going to be great, babe, Dane said.

[00:15:39] His winning smile was contagious.

[00:15:42] I know it, Becky agreed.

[00:15:44] Her cherubic face framed in curls.

[00:15:46] Now where's that inn?

[00:15:48] Dane steered their Honda Pilot down a side street.

[00:15:51] It's another half mile this way.

[00:15:54] Becky squealed to herself.

[00:15:56] Visions of warm cocoa and earmuffs and scarves and fluffy sweaters.

[00:15:59] Time spent around roaring fires so warm they were stifling.

[00:16:02] And carols played on repeat.

[00:16:04] Here, here it is, Dane said.

[00:16:07] Pointing to a frost-kissed two-story farmhouse.

[00:16:10] The Brambleberry Inn was fronted by a veranda decked in boughs of holly.

[00:16:14] Wreaths hung in every window and smoke curled from the chimney.

[00:16:18] Dane and Becky parked in the wraparound driveway and stood arm in arm just looking at the place,

[00:16:23] soaking it all in.

[00:16:25] It's just perfect, she said.

[00:16:27] They knocked on the door with their luggage in hand and were met by a cheery-looking man,

[00:16:31] bearded with white whiskers and wearing a cardigan.

[00:16:34] He smelled of spearmint.

[00:16:36] Welcome to the Brambleberry Inn, he said with a smile.

[00:16:39] Do you have reservations?

[00:16:41] We do, Dane said.

[00:16:43] The three exchanged small talk, and the man introduced himself as Frank,

[00:16:47] the caretaker who ran the establishment with his sister Dolores.

[00:16:51] Dolores, a petite, bespectacled woman, appeared with mugs of piping hot tea.

[00:16:56] Welcome, she said.

[00:16:58] There was laughter and more small talk,

[00:17:00] and then Frank and Dolores took them to the living room

[00:17:02] where a regal Christmas tree stood with all the trimmings.

[00:17:05] Tinsel, popcorn strings, ornaments, lights, ribbons, the works.

[00:17:10] They sat around the fire, sipping at their tea

[00:17:13] while their hosts explained the history of the home.

[00:17:16] It's been in our family for generations, Frank said.

[00:17:19] My great-great-grandfather built the house, and he loved Christmas.

[00:17:22] He made sure every family Christmas was a grand affair,

[00:17:26] and it's a tradition we've kept going over the years.

[00:17:29] His eyes twinkled at that, twinkled with a strange intensity.

[00:17:34] Dolores cut in.

[00:17:35] You must be tired from your trip.

[00:17:37] Let me show you to your room.

[00:17:39] Dane and Becky followed Dolores further into the charming home,

[00:17:42] so tastefully decorated with wooden figurines of Santa Claus

[00:17:45] and porcelain Christmas trees with tiny bulbs aglow,

[00:17:49] all with the scent of cinnamon and baked goods wafting in the air.

[00:17:53] Up the polished wooden stairs they went,

[00:17:55] and then down a homey hall where Dolores let them into a room

[00:17:58] furnished with an inviting, upscale, rustic feel.

[00:18:00] Hardwood floors, exposed beams in the ceiling, and modern lighting.

[00:18:05] The festivities begin at five, Dolores said before departing.

[00:18:09] They both wondered what that might be, but agreed it sounded exciting.

[00:18:13] Whatever the contemporary version of sugarplums dancing through one's head was,

[00:18:18] well, that's what was taking place right then.

[00:18:20] So they settled in with anticipation, unpacking and freshening up.

[00:18:25] Then, shortly before five, there was a knock at the door.

[00:18:28] Dane answered it to find a plump, red-haired woman in her seventies.

[00:18:32] Hello, you must be our new guests.

[00:18:34] So pleased to meet you.

[00:18:35] You can call me Aunt Sally.

[00:18:38] Becky joined Dane at the door, and they exchanged greetings.

[00:18:41] Won't you join me for a warm beverage?

[00:18:43] Aunt Sally wanted to know.

[00:18:46] Becky and Dane were only too happy to oblige.

[00:18:48] They followed Aunt Sally down the hall to a sitting room with enormous overstuffed furniture.

[00:18:53] Aunt Sally directed them to sit,

[00:18:54] and proceeded to pour them steaming mugs of cider from a serving cart.

[00:18:59] Dane took note of her slipping a splash of whiskey into each cup.

[00:19:02] And when Aunt Sally saw that he'd noticed, she shrugged and said,

[00:19:05] "'Tis the season."

[00:19:07] Dane took it in stride and settled back into the couch that seemed to swallow him.

[00:19:11] He snuggled closer to Becky as much as he could,

[00:19:14] and Aunt Sally kept them topped off,

[00:19:16] gaping at them with increasingly bulbous eyes and a toothy grin.

[00:19:20] "'Don't you like to be cozy?' she asked,

[00:19:22] leaning in with a blanket and tucking in around them.

[00:19:24] "'Tis the season."

[00:19:27] They accepted it, if not a bit reluctantly,

[00:19:29] chalking it up to Aunt Sally being an eccentric old woman.

[00:19:32] But then this repeated,

[00:19:34] the pattern of refills and padding with pillows and covering with blankets,

[00:19:38] coddling and prodding and poking with inquiries about their comfort.

[00:19:41] When it finally became unbearable,

[00:19:43] they politely excused themselves.

[00:19:46] Becky and Dane only went three steps out of the room before they ran into Frank.

[00:19:50] "'Oh there, just the folks I've been looking for.

[00:19:52] Our white elephant gift exchange is about to start.'

[00:19:56] Becky traded a sheepish look with Dane.

[00:19:58] "'Well, we don't have anything to gift.'

[00:20:01] "'Nonsense,' Frank said, his face enthusiastic.

[00:20:04] "'It's a white elephant.

[00:20:05] Just grab some knick-knacks from your luggage.'

[00:20:08] Becky and Dane complied, though they felt a bit silly,

[00:20:11] stopping in the room to acquire a package of antibacterial wipes and a lint brush.

[00:20:15] "'These'll have to do, I guess,' said Becky.

[00:20:18] Frank motioned for them to follow.

[00:20:20] "'First we'll need to get those wrapped.'

[00:20:22] They trailed the cheery old man across the hall to another bedroom that had been converted into a craft room of sorts,

[00:20:28] where reams of wrapping paper lay spread out across the floor.

[00:20:32] Stacked on folding tables and a workbench were more rolls of paper, spindles of ribbon,

[00:20:36] and a colorful assortment of gift tags.

[00:20:39] A fastidious young girl, hair parted down the middle, looked up from a box she was meticulously wrapping.

[00:20:46] "'Megan,' Frank said.

[00:20:47] "'Could you spare some paper and tape?'

[00:20:49] "'Certainly,' Megan said, hardly missing a beat with the wrap job.

[00:20:53] Becky took the cue and set to work wrapping their white elephant gifts,

[00:20:56] but was no sooner interrupted by Megan.

[00:20:59] "'You're doing it wrong,' she said,

[00:21:01] attempting to fix Becky's folds that were actually fairly neat,

[00:21:04] giving up, and then cutting a new square of paper.

[00:21:07] "'There. Do it like that.'

[00:21:09] Becky attempted to follow Megan's example,

[00:21:11] but failed again and again, with Megan's constant scolding.

[00:21:15] "'Don't you want your presents to look beautiful?' Megan demanded with a glare.

[00:21:19] "'Beside herself, Becky let Megan wrap the presents for her,

[00:21:22] while Dane looked on in an uncomfortable silence.

[00:21:26] They then followed Frank downstairs to the room with the Christmas tree,

[00:21:29] where there were a number of people whom they hadn't yet met, let alone seen.

[00:21:32] They were a motley assortment of characters, young and old.

[00:21:35] A woman with a reindeer sweater equipped with flashing LEDs,

[00:21:39] a cantankerous-looking man in button-up and corduroy slacks smoking a pipe,

[00:21:43] two bratty, snotty children crawling up and over the couch,

[00:21:46] and on and on.

[00:21:48] The two of them slunk near the corner of the room,

[00:21:51] a bit standoffish as Frank led the exchange.

[00:21:53] What started off as an orderly process soon devolved into chaos,

[00:21:57] with mounds of wrapping paper piling up everywhere.

[00:21:59] And just when it seemed they'd reached the end of the gifts,

[00:22:02] new presents would appear,

[00:22:03] more and more until Becky and Dane were ankle-deep in torn paper and ribbons.

[00:22:07] For Dane's part, he received perhaps fifty flashlights,

[00:22:10] the cheap plastic kind packaged with a Rayovac battery,

[00:22:13] over and over again from the woman in the blinking reindeer sweater.

[00:22:16] It didn't matter that she had already given him one, then another.

[00:22:20] She came anew with no memory of it each time, grinning and gabbing and laughing.

[00:22:25] Becky and Dane traded looks so many times it became comical,

[00:22:28] or would have been if those looks weren't also accompanied by the trace of fear.

[00:22:32] What have we gotten ourselves into, Dane wondered.

[00:22:35] Why is it so hot in here, Becky finally asked.

[00:22:37] And indeed the fever pitch of gift exchanging had reached a crescendo that was palpable.

[00:22:42] Dane tugged at the collar of his shirt and agreed it was time to wade through the detritus and into the hall.

[00:22:47] The coolness of it was a relief,

[00:22:49] and they absentmindedly wandered into a three-season room at the back of the house,

[00:22:53] a much colder space.

[00:22:55] It felt good at first, but then Becky asked,

[00:22:57] Why is it so cold in here? It feels like there's a window open.

[00:23:01] Dane turned to a space heater that sat nearby.

[00:23:04] Is this thing on?

[00:23:05] No!

[00:23:06] boomed a voice.

[00:23:08] They both turned to find a hulking, brutish viking of a man towering in an open doorway.

[00:23:13] He wore a velvety green outfit rimmed in fur,

[00:23:16] styled much like a Santa costume.

[00:23:17] His red beard flowed from his chin like an avalanche,

[00:23:20] and he wore great big leather boots.

[00:23:22] Who are you? asked Dane.

[00:23:24] I'm the Blizzard Meister.

[00:23:26] Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

[00:23:29] The man then turned to a snow machine that sat right outside the door and fired it up,

[00:23:34] and it began blowing heaps of cottony snow into the room.

[00:23:37] Eyes wide and mouths agape, they turned and went back the way they came, running into Dolores.

[00:23:42] Oh, I'm sorry, she said.

[00:23:44] I see you've met my nephew, Ruben.

[00:23:46] He can get a bit carried away.

[00:23:48] Now why don't you dears come have some fresh-baked cookies?

[00:23:51] With relief, Becky and Dane followed Dolores as she toddled into the kitchen.

[00:23:56] Why is the temperature so pleasant in here?

[00:23:58] Dane joked to himself as he looked around the modern farmhouse style of the kitchen

[00:24:02] with tasteful shiplap accents and deep white sink.

[00:24:05] He was captivated by the mounds and mounds of cookies and confections

[00:24:08] that lay on every square inch of countertop.

[00:24:11] Cutouts frosted with buttercream,

[00:24:13] bar cookies full of chocolate and coconut,

[00:24:15] gingerbread men decorated with those little red hots,

[00:24:18] flaky pastries, stacks of pizzelles,

[00:24:21] thick slabs of fudge, biscotti, peanut brittle,

[00:24:24] and buttery rich toffee.

[00:24:26] Dolores began to load up a platter of treats,

[00:24:28] a veritable sampling of everything,

[00:24:30] explaining the whole time about the right rate of brown butter and proof dough

[00:24:34] and why she refused to use royal icing on anything.

[00:24:37] Then she set the platter before them and urged them to eat.

[00:24:40] It was fantastic at first.

[00:24:42] The desserts were delectable,

[00:24:44] and sampling them all was a sweet-toothed stream.

[00:24:46] But then Becky and Dane began to feel full.

[00:24:50] Dolores didn't seem to notice, however,

[00:24:52] keeping chocolate-covered cherry cookies,

[00:24:54] hand pies, and slices of Bush to Noel before them

[00:24:56] with an oblivious grin,

[00:24:58] imploring them to eat more.

[00:25:00] It was imperative that they do so.

[00:25:02] Even if they didn't want to try something,

[00:25:04] they simply had to understand how delicious everything was.

[00:25:07] Becky held her stomach,

[00:25:09] and her eyes began to float.

[00:25:10] Dane tried to push himself away from the table,

[00:25:13] but Dolores shoveled more at them,

[00:25:14] leaning in and trying to force-feed them as if they were small children,

[00:25:18] still prattling away about European butter

[00:25:20] and how you should always toast your nuts before baking.

[00:25:23] I think we need to leave, Becky said.

[00:25:26] Dane nodded,

[00:25:27] and they extricated themselves from Dolores

[00:25:29] and made their way back into the hall.

[00:25:30] There they were accosted by a ring of children

[00:25:32] all dressed like Santa's elves.

[00:25:34] The children danced and twirled in circles around the couple,

[00:25:37] guiding them into a portion of the house

[00:25:39] to which they had not yet been.

[00:25:41] Help us build a gingerbread house,

[00:25:43] one of the children pleaded.

[00:25:44] He was so cute with his little elf shoes and ears

[00:25:47] that Becky couldn't resist.

[00:25:48] And so they sat down at a small table

[00:25:50] and began to build and decorate

[00:25:51] with stale sheets of graham cracker,

[00:25:53] cloyingly sweet frosting,

[00:25:55] and sugar-crusted gumdrops.

[00:25:57] No sooner that they had a portion of the house built,

[00:25:59] another child was poking holes in it,

[00:26:01] eating it, or otherwise dismantling it in some way.

[00:26:05] Before long, some of them were even attempting to decorate Dane,

[00:26:08] but by then he'd had enough.

[00:26:10] He hustled Becky out of there,

[00:26:12] intent on getting their luggage

[00:26:13] and finding another place to stay.

[00:26:15] Oh, there!

[00:26:16] It was Frank again.

[00:26:17] Come join us for the next gift exchange.

[00:26:20] Apparently, it didn't matter that they'd already done it once,

[00:26:23] nor did it matter that the gifts had been a waste

[00:26:25] of people's time and money.

[00:26:26] He quite forcefully grabbed them despite their protests

[00:26:28] and dragged them back around the tree

[00:26:30] with all the other guests.

[00:26:32] Zaniness ensued with Frank whipping stocking stuffers out to the hall,

[00:26:35] flinging them like frisbees.

[00:26:37] Wait, wait, he would say.

[00:26:39] The best is yet to come.

[00:26:40] And so he would keep everyone's attention

[00:26:42] hanging on to every gift that was opened,

[00:26:44] and they kept coming and coming

[00:26:45] from the obscene pile of prettily wrapped boxes

[00:26:47] that surrounded the tree,

[00:26:48] for there was too much to fit beneath it.

[00:26:51] By then, Becky and Dane were delirious,

[00:26:53] and their stomachs ached.

[00:26:55] They were caught up in a festive haze

[00:26:56] and wandered mindlessly to the dining room when directed.

[00:26:59] There, the spread upon the table would have made a king blush.

[00:27:02] It was a glut of juicy hams and turkeys,

[00:27:05] Christmas pasta,

[00:27:06] mashed potatoes,

[00:27:07] green bean casserole,

[00:27:09] golden dinner rolls,

[00:27:10] various jello salads,

[00:27:12] sweet potatoes with cinnamon and melted marshmallows,

[00:27:14] bowls of corn swimming in butter,

[00:27:16] plump fruitcakes,

[00:27:17] and gallons of creamy eggnog.

[00:27:19] Dane almost threw up in his mouth

[00:27:21] as he and Becky and the guests were binned to sit down.

[00:27:23] The smell of it wafting around

[00:27:25] was overwhelming as Dolores and Aunt Sally joined them.

[00:27:28] Both Dane and Becky took paltry servings

[00:27:30] of the food passed to them,

[00:27:31] while the elven children chirped like birds.

[00:27:34] Frank yammered on about the next gift exchange,

[00:27:36] and Aunt Sally assured everyone

[00:27:37] that it was tis the season to gorge themselves.

[00:27:40] It was then that Ruben appeared,

[00:27:42] swilling a stein of dark beer.

[00:27:44] He set various bottles on the table,

[00:27:46] barrel-aged imperial stouts,

[00:27:48] coffee-infused porters,

[00:27:49] glug,

[00:27:50] Christmas ales,

[00:27:51] and various winter warmers.

[00:27:53] He poured sample after sample for them,

[00:27:55] and Dane sipped it each with bleary eyes,

[00:27:57] while poor Becky simply rested her head on the table.

[00:28:00] Here is the grand finale,

[00:28:01] Ruben declared as he held up a bottle for all to see.

[00:28:04] A triple-barrel-aged barley wine,

[00:28:06] the perfect nightcap.

[00:28:08] This he poured for Dane,

[00:28:09] a heavy, sweet, boozy strong ale

[00:28:11] exhibiting massively rich depths of malt.

[00:28:14] Dane waved with the mug at his lips,

[00:28:16] almost shaking,

[00:28:17] as he had reached and then surpassed a limit

[00:28:19] he didn't know he had

[00:28:20] for all the rich heaviness of food and drink,

[00:28:22] only to reach another.

[00:28:24] The sip that crossed his lips

[00:28:25] simply glazed over the contents

[00:28:27] of his bloated mass of a stomach.

[00:28:28] With a haphazard arm,

[00:28:30] he pulled Becky away from the table with him,

[00:28:32] and they stumbled upstairs to the room.

[00:28:34] As if caught up in a manic episode,

[00:28:36] they began to pack their things

[00:28:38] and tunt at escaping the Bramble Berry Inn

[00:28:40] that very night.

[00:28:40] It was a panic.

[00:28:42] It was a rush.

[00:28:42] It was clumsy and hasty and tipsy

[00:28:44] and lethargic and confused.

[00:28:46] But at last,

[00:28:47] they were ready only to find Frank,

[00:28:48] Dolores,

[00:28:49] and Sally,

[00:28:50] and Ruben at their door.

[00:28:51] Leaving so soon,

[00:28:52] asked Frank.

[00:28:53] Why,

[00:28:54] we've only just started the celebration.

[00:28:55] We're going to do this again tomorrow,

[00:28:57] and the day after that,

[00:28:58] and the day after that.

[00:29:00] You haven't had dessert yet,

[00:29:01] complained Dolores.

[00:29:03] Why not have some bread pudding

[00:29:04] with my homemade caramel sauce?

[00:29:06] She leaned in with a dish in one hand,

[00:29:07] and a spoon outstretched in the other.

[00:29:10] Tis the season,

[00:29:11] Aunt Sally said,

[00:29:12] her face crazy with mirth.

[00:29:14] I've poured you another stout,

[00:29:15] announced Ruben.

[00:29:16] This one brewed with cocoa nibs,

[00:29:18] Oreos,

[00:29:18] vanilla,

[00:29:19] and toasted marshmallow.

[00:29:21] Dane pushed his way through the mall

[00:29:22] with Becky in tow.

[00:29:24] They were met along the way

[00:29:25] by the elven children

[00:29:26] who hung on them,

[00:29:27] danced around them,

[00:29:28] and insisted on cramming gumdrops

[00:29:30] into their pockets.

[00:29:31] Then the woman with the reindeer sweater

[00:29:33] appeared at the end of the hall

[00:29:34] looking sad.

[00:29:35] But you haven't opened your gifts yet,

[00:29:36] she moaned.

[00:29:38] Dane ignored them all,

[00:29:39] even though he was overtaken

[00:29:40] on every side.

[00:29:41] He and Becky struggled down the steps,

[00:29:43] drowning in a morass

[00:29:44] of unwanted cheer

[00:29:45] foisted upon them,

[00:29:46] little arms grasping at them,

[00:29:48] food and drink shoved in their faces,

[00:29:50] and the general course of it all.

[00:29:52] Why are you indifferent

[00:29:53] about the temperature,

[00:29:54] someone asked.

[00:29:55] Cool down,

[00:29:56] no need for a heated debate

[00:29:57] about temperature,

[00:29:58] another said.

[00:29:59] They reached the bottom of the stairs

[00:30:01] with much effort,

[00:30:02] only to be met by Megan

[00:30:03] charging toward them

[00:30:04] with a huge swath

[00:30:05] of wrapping paper.

[00:30:06] Don't you want to look beautiful,

[00:30:07] she screamed.

[00:30:09] Becky and Dane

[00:30:09] couldn't sidestep her.

[00:30:11] They stuttered and fell

[00:30:12] under the weight

[00:30:12] of their pursuers,

[00:30:13] and the paper came down upon them,

[00:30:15] glittery and smothering

[00:30:16] and terrible.

[00:30:18] The end.

[00:30:20] Dude,

[00:30:21] that is like the craziest Christmas

[00:30:22] I've ever heard of

[00:30:24] in my life.

[00:30:26] I wasn't sure

[00:30:27] like what we were,

[00:30:28] what was going to happen

[00:30:30] because like right

[00:30:31] at the beginning

[00:30:32] you did something

[00:30:33] that said like,

[00:30:34] you know,

[00:30:35] the inn is just down the road

[00:30:36] or something like that

[00:30:37] and I was like,

[00:30:38] is this like a modern

[00:30:40] birth of Jesus

[00:30:40] kind of thing?

[00:30:42] You know?

[00:30:42] Oh,

[00:30:42] I totally did think about that.

[00:30:44] So I was like that,

[00:30:46] but then like

[00:30:46] once they get to the,

[00:30:48] it was Brambleberry,

[00:30:50] right?

[00:30:51] Yeah,

[00:30:51] I think that's what I call it.

[00:30:52] Yeah,

[00:30:52] Brambleberry Inn.

[00:30:53] Yeah.

[00:30:53] Holy shit.

[00:30:55] Well,

[00:30:55] I thought the title

[00:30:56] of the story

[00:30:56] would have given you

[00:30:57] a clue.

[00:30:58] it did,

[00:30:58] but I wasn't,

[00:30:59] I wasn't like,

[00:31:01] I guess I wasn't expecting

[00:31:02] just like,

[00:31:04] because it seemed to me

[00:31:05] like all these people

[00:31:07] were strangers.

[00:31:08] Is that correct?

[00:31:09] Like Becky and Dane

[00:31:10] like didn't know

[00:31:11] these people,

[00:31:11] did they?

[00:31:12] The other guests?

[00:31:13] Yeah.

[00:31:14] No,

[00:31:15] they didn't know

[00:31:15] the other guests

[00:31:15] nor did they know

[00:31:17] the proprietors

[00:31:17] of the home.

[00:31:18] Right.

[00:31:19] So like,

[00:31:19] that's like,

[00:31:20] so when I,

[00:31:21] when I read your story

[00:31:21] title,

[00:31:22] House of a Thousand

[00:31:23] Christmases,

[00:31:23] I figured it would

[00:31:24] just be like family

[00:31:25] coming in and out

[00:31:25] or something like that.

[00:31:26] But this is just like,

[00:31:27] you got a couple people

[00:31:29] in a hotel with a bunch

[00:31:30] of crazy ass strangers.

[00:31:32] What it is like,

[00:31:33] Aunt Sally,

[00:31:34] Sally seemed harmless

[00:31:35] enough,

[00:31:35] but like when she kept

[00:31:36] pushing the cider,

[00:31:38] I was like,

[00:31:38] what's in this cider?

[00:31:39] Like what is going on here?

[00:31:41] And then Megan

[00:31:42] with her,

[00:31:44] you're not doing it right.

[00:31:45] I'm like,

[00:31:46] Jesus Christ,

[00:31:47] who talks to strangers

[00:31:48] like this?

[00:31:49] But no,

[00:31:50] I mean,

[00:31:50] is this,

[00:31:51] is this just kind

[00:31:52] of like a,

[00:31:53] kind of like almost

[00:31:54] an encapsulation

[00:31:55] of how you feel

[00:31:56] around Christmas?

[00:31:57] It's just like everything

[00:31:57] is coming at you from.

[00:31:59] Yes.

[00:31:59] It's just all the excess

[00:32:00] and glut

[00:32:01] and just like everyone

[00:32:03] insists on doing

[00:32:04] all this stuff.

[00:32:05] That's just,

[00:32:06] it's just not necessary.

[00:32:06] It's like,

[00:32:07] I just want to simplify,

[00:32:08] you know,

[00:32:09] I don't want four Christmases.

[00:32:10] I just,

[00:32:11] can I just do Christmas

[00:32:11] day and like,

[00:32:12] if I can't make it

[00:32:12] somewhere,

[00:32:13] then I'll see you

[00:32:13] next year kind of thing.

[00:32:14] I don't know.

[00:32:15] Right.

[00:32:16] The one thing that

[00:32:17] really got me,

[00:32:17] I don't know why,

[00:32:19] but you said something

[00:32:21] about the elven,

[00:32:22] the elven children

[00:32:23] wouldn't stop,

[00:32:24] like try to stop

[00:32:25] shoving gumdrops

[00:32:26] in their pockets.

[00:32:28] If I was surrounded

[00:32:30] by kids dressed

[00:32:31] like elves

[00:32:31] that were trying

[00:32:32] to put the shittiest

[00:32:33] candy in the world

[00:32:34] in my pockets,

[00:32:35] I'd be like,

[00:32:35] will you please

[00:32:36] leave me the fuck alone?

[00:32:37] Nobody wants gumdrops.

[00:32:39] Some gumdrops are good.

[00:32:39] Some gumdrops are good.

[00:32:40] I mean,

[00:32:41] maybe,

[00:32:41] but like,

[00:32:43] most occasions

[00:32:44] I don't want

[00:32:44] ah gumdrop,

[00:32:46] let alone many gumdrops.

[00:32:47] Well,

[00:32:48] you don't want them

[00:32:48] in your pocket.

[00:32:50] No,

[00:32:51] they're going to get

[00:32:51] all linty and gross.

[00:32:52] These kids are gross.

[00:32:54] What else made me laugh?

[00:32:56] There were just,

[00:32:56] there was like little

[00:32:57] like one-off little things

[00:32:58] in your descriptions

[00:32:59] that I was just kind of

[00:33:00] like holding back

[00:33:01] like little chuckles.

[00:33:01] Like,

[00:33:02] um,

[00:33:03] I think it was the one,

[00:33:05] I don't remember

[00:33:06] if it was like

[00:33:07] the proprietor's son

[00:33:08] or something like that,

[00:33:09] but it was whoever

[00:33:10] they referred to

[00:33:11] as the blizzard meister.

[00:33:12] Yeah,

[00:33:13] Ruben.

[00:33:15] Like,

[00:33:16] like,

[00:33:17] how dare you

[00:33:18] turn this heater on?

[00:33:20] It's,

[00:33:21] I'm the snow master

[00:33:23] or whatever the fuck,

[00:33:24] like out of control.

[00:33:26] Like,

[00:33:26] I don't know.

[00:33:27] All I can say is like,

[00:33:28] this is going to be

[00:33:29] one of those ones

[00:33:29] where I guarantee

[00:33:30] when I'm editing

[00:33:31] the episode,

[00:33:32] I'm going to be

[00:33:32] thoroughly entertained

[00:33:33] all over again

[00:33:34] listening to you read it.

[00:33:35] That's good.

[00:33:36] Now,

[00:33:37] I do have one question

[00:33:38] because like,

[00:33:39] you know,

[00:33:39] and I'm,

[00:33:40] I'm not asking you

[00:33:41] to call anybody out

[00:33:42] or anything,

[00:33:43] but like,

[00:33:43] do you have family members

[00:33:44] that like carry

[00:33:46] these kind of traits?

[00:33:48] Um.

[00:33:48] Is there somebody

[00:33:49] that's maniacal

[00:33:50] about,

[00:33:50] about how gifts

[00:33:51] are wrapped?

[00:33:52] No,

[00:33:53] Or anything like that?

[00:33:54] Okay.

[00:33:55] No,

[00:33:55] I mean,

[00:33:55] there's some,

[00:33:56] I guess you could say

[00:33:57] quasi-autobiographical

[00:33:59] details in here.

[00:34:01] Um,

[00:34:02] but not with the wrapping.

[00:34:04] No,

[00:34:04] that was just sort of,

[00:34:05] I was just trying to think

[00:34:05] of like people who are

[00:34:06] just going to be over the top

[00:34:07] about,

[00:34:08] you know,

[00:34:09] having the,

[00:34:09] the,

[00:34:10] the perfect Christmas

[00:34:11] or whatever.

[00:34:11] And I mean,

[00:34:12] everyone's got their,

[00:34:13] you know,

[00:34:14] pretty strongly held opinions

[00:34:15] about the right way

[00:34:16] to do it.

[00:34:17] and there's certain things

[00:34:18] you gotta do,

[00:34:19] uh,

[00:34:19] you gotta have for Christmas

[00:34:20] or it doesn't feel right.

[00:34:21] I mean,

[00:34:21] I get that,

[00:34:21] but like,

[00:34:22] sure.

[00:34:22] It's just,

[00:34:23] there's a point where

[00:34:24] it's just like,

[00:34:24] it's just too much,

[00:34:25] you know?

[00:34:26] Okay.

[00:34:26] Now the most important

[00:34:27] question,

[00:34:27] does somebody at your

[00:34:29] Christmas smoke a pipe?

[00:34:31] No.

[00:34:31] Damn it.

[00:34:32] Okay.

[00:34:33] Because,

[00:34:34] you know,

[00:34:34] I jumped on this whole

[00:34:35] cigar train

[00:34:36] and like the,

[00:34:38] uh,

[00:34:38] the types of cigars

[00:34:39] that I like take

[00:34:40] roughly between an hour

[00:34:42] and an hour and a half

[00:34:42] to smoke.

[00:34:43] Yeah.

[00:34:44] And like,

[00:34:44] I can't smoke in my house

[00:34:45] and now it's like fucking

[00:34:47] like 20 degrees at night

[00:34:48] outside.

[00:34:49] I can't smoke outside,

[00:34:50] but like the thought

[00:34:51] has crossed my mind.

[00:34:54] Like maybe I should get a pipe

[00:34:55] because it sounds ridiculous

[00:34:59] to say it out loud,

[00:35:00] but just like go with me here.

[00:35:02] You could just step outside.

[00:35:03] Feels like a very sophisticated

[00:35:05] fast time.

[00:35:05] Hit the pipe.

[00:35:06] Yeah.

[00:35:06] I could like have a row,

[00:35:07] but I could just stand on my deck,

[00:35:09] puff on my pipe for five to 10 minutes

[00:35:10] and then walk back in the house

[00:35:12] like rejuvenated.

[00:35:13] Now my,

[00:35:14] my grandfather would occasionally,

[00:35:17] a pipe when he was fishing, but

[00:35:19] my grandma, hate,

[00:35:20] my grandma

[00:35:20] hated it. So he

[00:35:21] would never have it. He would

[00:35:23] never smoke it at the house. When you

[00:35:25] go like on a fishing trip, he would

[00:35:26] smoke it, but I

[00:35:27] never actually saw him smoke a

[00:35:29] pipe. Yeah.

[00:35:30] I can,

[00:35:30] I'm allowed

[00:35:30] to smoke outside,

[00:35:31] but you know,

[00:35:33] I like,

[00:35:33] I don't even think,

[00:35:35] I think if I had a dedicated space

[00:35:37] with the proper,

[00:35:38] proper air filtration,

[00:35:40] I would consider smoking a cigar

[00:35:41] in my home.

[00:35:42] But without all of that extra filtration

[00:35:45] and like,

[00:35:46] you know,

[00:35:47] stuff like that,

[00:35:48] there's no way I would just smoke

[00:35:49] a cigar in my house.

[00:35:50] Right.

[00:35:51] I did start smoking in my car though.

[00:35:53] Yeah,

[00:35:54] I saw that.

[00:35:55] That shocked me.

[00:35:56] It's not bad.

[00:35:57] As long as you don't do it

[00:35:58] like all that often,

[00:35:59] it airs out.

[00:36:00] Like I think if I was,

[00:36:01] if I was like to smoke a cigar a day

[00:36:02] in the car,

[00:36:03] it would probably get unbearable.

[00:36:05] But I also think that it helps

[00:36:06] that I have leather.

[00:36:08] So it's not like absorbing

[00:36:09] into too much upholstery.

[00:36:11] Hmm.

[00:36:12] I don't know if that's,

[00:36:13] that could just be a thing.

[00:36:14] It just makes me feel bad.

[00:36:15] Yeah,

[00:36:16] I don't know.

[00:36:16] I mean,

[00:36:16] leather is porous,

[00:36:17] but.

[00:36:18] I just,

[00:36:18] I don't feel like it's as bad

[00:36:19] because you know,

[00:36:20] I used to smoke cigarettes

[00:36:21] like a champ back in the day.

[00:36:23] I remember.

[00:36:23] And,

[00:36:24] you know,

[00:36:25] my car would reek,

[00:36:26] but that was just part of

[00:36:27] being a cigarette smoker.

[00:36:29] You know what I mean?

[00:36:30] Your car stunk.

[00:36:30] Right.

[00:36:32] But like,

[00:36:33] I would say like the day

[00:36:34] or a day after,

[00:36:35] the day after,

[00:36:37] like I smoke a cigar,

[00:36:37] I can smell it,

[00:36:38] but then it starts to dwindle

[00:36:39] pretty quickly.

[00:36:41] Anyways,

[00:36:42] that's a little tangent.

[00:36:42] I was,

[00:36:43] I was going to ask for a,

[00:36:44] a pipe tobacco recommendation

[00:36:45] if you did have a family member

[00:36:47] that smoked pipe.

[00:36:48] Yeah,

[00:36:48] I can't help you.

[00:36:49] But if any listeners out there

[00:36:51] are pipe smokers,

[00:36:52] hit me up with a type of

[00:36:53] pipe tobacco that you recommend.

[00:36:56] Cool.

[00:36:57] Well,

[00:36:58] that was a great,

[00:36:59] it was a great little Christmas tale.

[00:37:02] I liked it.

[00:37:03] I was happy with it.

[00:37:04] Yeah,

[00:37:04] it was fun.

[00:37:06] Like I said,

[00:37:06] I'm going to be,

[00:37:08] I'm going to be super happy

[00:37:09] when I,

[00:37:09] uh,

[00:37:10] get to listen to it again.

[00:37:12] And you,

[00:37:13] you did get all those props in there,

[00:37:14] which was crazy.

[00:37:15] And what was it?

[00:37:16] You know what?

[00:37:17] Like I was really,

[00:37:19] who was it that kept saying

[00:37:21] in the season

[00:37:22] or tis the season?

[00:37:23] Was it Sally?

[00:37:24] Aunt Sally,

[00:37:24] yeah.

[00:37:25] It's like this woman,

[00:37:27] this woman is unhinged.

[00:37:30] She's just like running this in

[00:37:32] and just like forcing people

[00:37:34] into white elephant,

[00:37:34] like gift exchanges

[00:37:36] every 20 minutes,

[00:37:38] feeding them cider.

[00:37:39] Tis the sea,

[00:37:40] like out of control.

[00:37:42] All right.

[00:37:43] Anyways,

[00:37:44] well done.

[00:37:45] I really enjoyed it.

[00:37:48] So,

[00:37:48] I guess that leaves it up to me.

[00:37:50] Now,

[00:37:51] I,

[00:37:51] I,

[00:37:51] I put my,

[00:37:52] um,

[00:37:53] story title in the document

[00:37:54] really,

[00:37:55] really super late

[00:37:56] because I,

[00:37:57] I didn't want you to see it,

[00:37:58] but I,

[00:37:58] I imagine at this point

[00:37:59] you probably know

[00:38:00] what's going on.

[00:38:01] I have a guess.

[00:38:03] But,

[00:38:03] um,

[00:38:04] this month I have a story for you

[00:38:06] which is simply called

[00:38:08] Epilogue.

[00:38:09] And,

[00:38:10] it is

[00:38:11] pretty short for Matt Sanders.

[00:38:13] It's just under 1200 words.

[00:38:14] Oh,

[00:38:15] wow.

[00:38:16] So,

[00:38:16] um,

[00:38:17] it's funny to me

[00:38:18] that it,

[00:38:19] it seems like we,

[00:38:20] we often like counterbalance

[00:38:22] each other

[00:38:24] without communicating at all

[00:38:26] in between readings.

[00:38:27] Like,

[00:38:27] I don't really,

[00:38:28] that works.

[00:38:28] I,

[00:38:29] I don't,

[00:38:30] I don't know how long

[00:38:31] your story is before

[00:38:32] you tell,

[00:38:33] you say it when we record

[00:38:34] and vice versa.

[00:38:35] So,

[00:38:35] it's funny to me that like

[00:38:37] whenever you go long

[00:38:38] I kind of go short

[00:38:38] or if I go long

[00:38:39] you tend to go short.

[00:38:40] It's just,

[00:38:40] it's,

[00:38:40] I don't know.

[00:38:42] The universe is crazy,

[00:38:43] man.

[00:38:44] But anyways,

[00:38:45] um,

[00:38:45] yeah.

[00:38:46] So,

[00:38:46] 1200 words called

[00:38:47] Epilogue

[00:38:48] and I'm gonna bring it

[00:38:49] to you right now.

[00:38:51] Death.

[00:38:53] It's a fickle thing.

[00:38:55] In its presence

[00:38:55] you're subject to an

[00:38:56] emotional cornucopia.

[00:38:58] The fragility of the

[00:38:59] human condition

[00:38:59] laid out on full display.

[00:39:01] In a single moment

[00:39:02] the unforgiving hand

[00:39:04] of mother nature

[00:39:04] can reduce a thriving

[00:39:05] specimen to a lump

[00:39:06] of useless flesh.

[00:39:09] I've met a couple people

[00:39:10] who have had their life

[00:39:11] flash before their eyes.

[00:39:13] The common denominator

[00:39:14] in each case was,

[00:39:15] you guessed it,

[00:39:17] death.

[00:39:18] But I wasn't dying.

[00:39:20] So you can imagine

[00:39:21] my surprise

[00:39:21] when I found my mind

[00:39:22] wandering to the moments

[00:39:23] that have meant

[00:39:24] the most to me.

[00:39:26] It was no surprise

[00:39:27] to find her

[00:39:27] at the root of each of them.

[00:39:29] Margie.

[00:39:32] The first time I ever

[00:39:33] laid eyes on her.

[00:39:34] Our first date.

[00:39:36] Our first kiss.

[00:39:38] The birth of our son

[00:39:39] Andrew.

[00:39:40] The birth of our daughter

[00:39:41] Angela.

[00:39:43] The day Angie

[00:39:44] was taken from us.

[00:39:46] The day Andrew left.

[00:39:49] Countless nights alone

[00:39:50] as we tried to console

[00:39:51] each other,

[00:39:52] tried to heal.

[00:39:54] That fateful day

[00:39:55] that my ticket

[00:39:55] was almost punched

[00:39:56] by a truck stop pimp

[00:39:57] and his army

[00:39:58] of juvenile delinquents.

[00:40:00] But love prevailed

[00:40:01] and a new chapter began.

[00:40:04] Life had given us

[00:40:05] a second chance.

[00:40:06] We became almost

[00:40:08] surrogate parents

[00:40:08] for Angie and her

[00:40:09] daughter Gabby.

[00:40:10] We didn't speak

[00:40:11] of the coincidence

[00:40:12] that it brought

[00:40:13] another Angela

[00:40:13] back into our lives.

[00:40:15] We didn't have to.

[00:40:17] But it filled the hole

[00:40:18] that had been void

[00:40:19] for so long.

[00:40:21] Angie's wedding.

[00:40:23] Gabby's high school

[00:40:24] graduation.

[00:40:25] Then college.

[00:40:27] It was hard sometimes

[00:40:28] trying not to think

[00:40:29] of our losses

[00:40:30] but we had been blessed.

[00:40:32] We'd be kidding ourselves

[00:40:33] if we didn't admit

[00:40:34] we loved them

[00:40:35] as if they were our own.

[00:40:37] Everything seemed

[00:40:38] to be good

[00:40:38] until it wasn't.

[00:40:41] Margie's diagnosis.

[00:40:43] Doctor appointments.

[00:40:45] Hospital stays.

[00:40:47] Margie's decline.

[00:40:49] Andrew's return.

[00:40:51] The countless waves

[00:40:52] of sorrow and tears

[00:40:53] that followed.

[00:40:55] Death.

[00:40:57] The sharp December wind

[00:40:59] wasn't constant

[00:40:59] but when it shot

[00:41:00] through it bit hard.

[00:41:02] I stood focused

[00:41:03] on the spot of earth

[00:41:04] where Margie would

[00:41:05] spend eternity

[00:41:06] trying to avoid

[00:41:07] looking to the left

[00:41:08] where I would lie

[00:41:08] when my own time came.

[00:41:11] The cold wasn't good

[00:41:12] for the arthritis

[00:41:12] that had built up

[00:41:13] over years

[00:41:14] in the cab of the truck

[00:41:15] and I tried to keep

[00:41:16] them moving

[00:41:17] to keep them

[00:41:17] from freezing

[00:41:17] altogether.

[00:41:20] The procession's arrival

[00:41:21] at the small cemetery

[00:41:22] pulled me out of my trance

[00:41:23] and I raised my eyes

[00:41:24] to watch as Andrew

[00:41:24] and his two boys

[00:41:25] stood along one side

[00:41:26] of the casket

[00:41:27] while Angie's brother

[00:41:28] and a couple of our

[00:41:29] good friends

[00:41:30] took up the other.

[00:41:32] It killed me

[00:41:32] that I couldn't join them

[00:41:34] but my ability

[00:41:35] to lift anything heavier

[00:41:36] than a fork to my lips

[00:41:37] had left me long ago.

[00:41:39] I'm sure Margie

[00:41:40] would understand.

[00:41:43] They sat down

[00:41:43] the box of mahogany

[00:41:44] and chrome

[00:41:45] and took a step back

[00:41:46] their eyes first

[00:41:47] to the ground

[00:41:48] then to me.

[00:41:50] It was a modest affair

[00:41:51] and there were maybe

[00:41:52] a dozen and a half

[00:41:53] in attendance.

[00:41:55] I'd spent the last

[00:41:56] three days

[00:41:56] trying to come up

[00:41:57] with something

[00:41:58] any combination

[00:41:59] of words

[00:41:59] that could express

[00:42:00] how much she meant

[00:42:00] to me

[00:42:01] and convey

[00:42:02] how much I had lost

[00:42:03] yet I had nothing.

[00:42:05] Father Ken leaned forward

[00:42:07] and handed me

[00:42:07] a microphone.

[00:42:09] I doubt it was necessary

[00:42:10] but I dare not question

[00:42:11] a man of the cloth.

[00:42:13] Listen everybody

[00:42:15] I want to thank you all

[00:42:16] for taking time

[00:42:16] out of your Christmas day

[00:42:17] to be here with me

[00:42:18] to honor Margie.

[00:42:20] She meant the world

[00:42:21] to me

[00:42:21] and I don't know how

[00:42:24] I'm not sure

[00:42:25] how much of that

[00:42:26] was intelligible

[00:42:26] for now I found myself

[00:42:28] shaking uncontrollably

[00:42:29] from grief

[00:42:30] anger

[00:42:31] cold

[00:42:31] or all of the above.

[00:42:34] The microphone

[00:42:35] fell to the ground.

[00:42:37] Gabby rushed to me

[00:42:38] and threw her arms

[00:42:38] around my neck.

[00:42:39] It took everything

[00:42:40] I had to keep my balance

[00:42:41] but I remained stable.

[00:42:44] The world swirled

[00:42:45] around me

[00:42:45] as grief reared

[00:42:46] its ugly face.

[00:42:48] This woman had meant

[00:42:49] everything in the world

[00:42:50] to me

[00:42:50] and there I was

[00:42:51] unable to vocalize

[00:42:52] a single word of it.

[00:42:54] As I scanned

[00:42:55] the faces looking upon me

[00:42:56] I saw nothing but pity.

[00:43:00] Hey everyone.

[00:43:02] His voice also struggled

[00:43:04] in the cold

[00:43:04] so Andrew bent down

[00:43:05] to grab the microphone.

[00:43:07] Is this thing on?

[00:43:09] Almost in mockery

[00:43:11] a shrill squeal

[00:43:11] filled the air

[00:43:12] causing everyone

[00:43:13] to cover their ears.

[00:43:15] Everyone except for me.

[00:43:17] It was either my ears

[00:43:18] or my feet

[00:43:19] and I preferred

[00:43:20] to be upright.

[00:43:22] Father Ken snatched

[00:43:23] the microphone

[00:43:23] from Andrew

[00:43:24] and flipped the power switch

[00:43:25] on the bass.

[00:43:26] The silence was almost

[00:43:27] as sharp as the wind.

[00:43:29] I think we could probably

[00:43:30] get away without it.

[00:43:32] Don't you?

[00:43:34] Andrew nodded.

[00:43:36] Sorry about that.

[00:43:37] He took a moment

[00:43:38] to reflect.

[00:43:40] You know

[00:43:41] I bet if mom was here

[00:43:42] she'd probably

[00:43:43] be laughing at me.

[00:43:45] My eyes began to tear

[00:43:46] as I nodded

[00:43:47] in agreement.

[00:43:49] I'm going to try

[00:43:50] and make this quick

[00:43:50] so you can all get back

[00:43:51] home to your families.

[00:43:53] It's no secret

[00:43:54] that I didn't have

[00:43:55] the best relationship

[00:43:55] with my parents.

[00:43:57] When we lost Angela

[00:43:58] no one knew what to do.

[00:44:00] They tried to cope

[00:44:01] the best they could

[00:44:01] but who has the capacity

[00:44:03] to deal with a loss

[00:44:04] of that magnitude?

[00:44:05] I didn't.

[00:44:07] So what did I do?

[00:44:09] I ran away.

[00:44:11] Son.

[00:44:13] I reached out for him

[00:44:14] but he held up

[00:44:14] a gentle hand

[00:44:15] and Gabby pulled

[00:44:16] my arm back.

[00:44:18] I wasn't able

[00:44:18] to understand

[00:44:19] what they were going

[00:44:20] through until the day

[00:44:20] I became a parent myself.

[00:44:22] In the blink of an eye

[00:44:24] I was now responsible

[00:44:24] for another life.

[00:44:26] To raise him.

[00:44:28] Teach him.

[00:44:29] And

[00:44:31] protect him.

[00:44:33] It was in that moment

[00:44:34] that I knew

[00:44:34] how selfish I had been

[00:44:36] and I picked up the phone.

[00:44:39] When I returned home

[00:44:40] for the first time

[00:44:40] I was met with open arms.

[00:44:42] They told me

[00:44:43] a fantastical tale

[00:44:44] in which my father

[00:44:44] put himself at risk

[00:44:45] for complete strangers

[00:44:47] and how my mother

[00:44:48] saved him along

[00:44:49] with a group of mothers

[00:44:49] and children

[00:44:50] held captive

[00:44:51] against their will

[00:44:52] for purposes not

[00:44:53] to be mentioned here.

[00:44:55] He turned to Angie

[00:44:56] and Gabby.

[00:44:57] In doing so

[00:44:58] they were able

[00:44:59] to bring two

[00:45:00] of the most loving

[00:45:01] selfless people

[00:45:01] I have ever met

[00:45:02] into the folds

[00:45:03] of our family.

[00:45:05] You saved my parents

[00:45:06] and gave them

[00:45:06] something to live for

[00:45:07] at a time

[00:45:07] when I couldn't.

[00:45:09] For that

[00:45:10] I'm eternally grateful.

[00:45:13] Selfless.

[00:45:15] When I hear that word

[00:45:16] I can't help

[00:45:16] but think of my mother.

[00:45:18] Dad,

[00:45:19] I hope you can find peace

[00:45:20] in knowing

[00:45:20] that she now sits

[00:45:21] with my sister

[00:45:21] by her side

[00:45:22] looking down upon us.

[00:45:25] I just hope

[00:45:25] that I can make her

[00:45:26] as proud as she made me.

[00:45:29] With that

[00:45:30] I'd like everyone

[00:45:31] to go home

[00:45:31] and be with your families.

[00:45:33] When you're sitting

[00:45:34] around your Christmas tree

[00:45:35] tonight

[00:45:36] hold those

[00:45:36] that you love

[00:45:37] just a little bit closer

[00:45:38] because you never know

[00:45:39] how much time

[00:45:40] you have left.

[00:45:41] Merry Christmas.

[00:45:44] Very nice.

[00:45:45] Very heartwarming.

[00:45:46] Yeah, thank you.

[00:45:47] Thank you.

[00:45:47] I was worried about

[00:45:48] making it a little sad

[00:45:49] but

[00:45:51] I really wanted

[00:45:52] to do an epilogue

[00:45:53] to kind of just

[00:45:54] go out into the future

[00:45:55] a little bit

[00:45:56] even though we didn't

[00:45:56] go into too much detail

[00:45:58] about their lives

[00:45:58] I feel like we got

[00:46:00] a little bit of closure.

[00:46:02] Yeah, I mean

[00:46:03] I like that.

[00:46:03] I mean

[00:46:04] you had already

[00:46:05] invested quite a bit

[00:46:06] into those characters

[00:46:07] so it's

[00:46:08] you know

[00:46:09] sometimes

[00:46:09] these short stories

[00:46:11] we leave the

[00:46:12] listeners hanging

[00:46:13] a little bit

[00:46:13] and so in this case

[00:46:14] you kind of get to see

[00:46:16] the next chapter.

[00:46:18] Yeah, absolutely

[00:46:18] and it was kind of

[00:46:20] like a challenge

[00:46:21] to myself

[00:46:21] because you know

[00:46:22] we brought up

[00:46:23] a few episodes ago

[00:46:23] the idea of maybe

[00:46:24] doing like a constant thing

[00:46:26] you know

[00:46:27] over the course

[00:46:27] of like maybe a season

[00:46:28] even

[00:46:30] and

[00:46:31] for me

[00:46:32] you know

[00:46:33] I've always struggled

[00:46:34] with anything long form

[00:46:36] like I've been able

[00:46:37] to knock out short stories

[00:46:38] like monthly for

[00:46:39] you know

[00:46:40] the better part

[00:46:40] of six years

[00:46:41] six years now

[00:46:42] over six years now

[00:46:43] something like that

[00:46:44] yeah

[00:46:44] something

[00:46:44] yeah

[00:46:45] so

[00:46:46] but I still haven't

[00:46:47] tackled that long form thing

[00:46:48] so this was just

[00:46:49] kind of the reinforcement

[00:46:50] of the idea

[00:46:51] that like really

[00:46:52] the only person

[00:46:53] stopping me

[00:46:53] from doing something

[00:46:54] like

[00:46:56] long

[00:46:58] is me

[00:46:59] does that make sense?

[00:47:00] Yeah

[00:47:01] that makes total sense

[00:47:02] so

[00:47:02] I don't know

[00:47:03] what that means

[00:47:04] like I have a couple

[00:47:05] of like long form ideas

[00:47:07] that

[00:47:08] you know

[00:47:09] I'd be willing

[00:47:10] to move forward with

[00:47:11] I think the problem

[00:47:11] is

[00:47:13] picking one

[00:47:14] and then sticking

[00:47:15] with it

[00:47:16] and I really think

[00:47:17] the only way

[00:47:18] that I can stick

[00:47:18] with it

[00:47:19] is if I just

[00:47:20] write on a regular

[00:47:21] basis

[00:47:21] which I'm not

[00:47:22] the best at doing

[00:47:24] right

[00:47:24] yeah

[00:47:24] I mean

[00:47:25] it does

[00:47:25] it does

[00:47:26] it does require

[00:47:27] that

[00:47:27] I would agree

[00:47:28] so

[00:47:28] so I mean

[00:47:29] like

[00:47:29] so when you're

[00:47:30] working on your novels

[00:47:31] or whatever

[00:47:31] are you writing

[00:47:32] every single day

[00:47:33] I

[00:47:33] that's my goal

[00:47:35] I would say

[00:47:38] Monday through Friday

[00:47:39] I'm good about it

[00:47:40] the weekend

[00:47:41] sometimes not as much

[00:47:43] which sounds strange

[00:47:44] you think would be

[00:47:44] the other way around

[00:47:45] but

[00:47:46] I mean it makes sense

[00:47:47] but it's almost like

[00:47:48] in that case

[00:47:49] it's almost like

[00:47:49] you're just treating

[00:47:51] treating your writing

[00:47:52] like a job

[00:47:52] and I don't know

[00:47:53] if that's necessarily

[00:47:54] a bad thing

[00:47:55] it's not so much

[00:47:56] that is

[00:47:57] I just have

[00:47:58] more

[00:48:00] blocked off

[00:48:00] time

[00:48:01] maybe to write

[00:48:02] during the week

[00:48:03] whereas the weekend

[00:48:04] gets

[00:48:05] you know

[00:48:05] maybe

[00:48:06] more populated

[00:48:08] with

[00:48:08] work around the house

[00:48:09] and then at the end of the day

[00:48:11] you're like

[00:48:11] yeah

[00:48:11] like

[00:48:12] it's the weekend

[00:48:12] I kind of want to not

[00:48:13] do anything

[00:48:14] yeah

[00:48:15] and your kids

[00:48:15] are still

[00:48:16] like younger

[00:48:16] so

[00:48:18] they probably

[00:48:18] keep you

[00:48:19] tied up on the weekends

[00:48:20] pretty well too

[00:48:21] I mean

[00:48:21] yeah

[00:48:22] it just depends

[00:48:22] but

[00:48:24] but yeah

[00:48:24] that's the goal

[00:48:25] and so even if you do

[00:48:26] have the time to write

[00:48:27] like that doesn't mean

[00:48:28] that something's gonna come out

[00:48:30] you know what I mean

[00:48:30] sure

[00:48:31] sure

[00:48:31] so

[00:48:32] but just the act of sitting down

[00:48:33] and trying to do it

[00:48:34] and forming that habit

[00:48:35] I think is helpful

[00:48:37] yeah

[00:48:37] so I'm wondering

[00:48:38] like I usually do pretty well

[00:48:39] when I schedule things

[00:48:41] I wonder if it's just like

[00:48:44] an hour on my calendar

[00:48:45] every day

[00:48:46] I think also too

[00:48:47] like

[00:48:47] I don't know

[00:48:48] it's really hard to do

[00:48:49] the first one man

[00:48:50] like

[00:48:50] once you do the first one

[00:48:52] yeah

[00:48:53] I think you'll find

[00:48:53] that the next one

[00:48:54] is way easier

[00:48:55] because now

[00:48:55] you have this

[00:48:57] sort of

[00:48:57] sense or idea

[00:48:58] of what it takes

[00:48:59] and so

[00:48:59] your brain starts to work

[00:49:01] in different ways

[00:49:02] like

[00:49:02] all week long

[00:49:03] I've been

[00:49:03] using up little tiny increments

[00:49:05] in my time

[00:49:06] to like

[00:49:06] do research

[00:49:07] for the next book

[00:49:08] so things that like

[00:49:09] you know

[00:49:10] maybe

[00:49:11] would require

[00:49:12] um

[00:49:13] you know

[00:49:14] maybe

[00:49:15] half

[00:49:15] half your focus

[00:49:16] but not like a great

[00:49:17] you're not writing

[00:49:18] you're just kind of like

[00:49:18] looking things up

[00:49:19] and thinking

[00:49:20] you know

[00:49:21] you just like

[00:49:21] oh like

[00:49:22] I've got 10 minutes here

[00:49:23] let me

[00:49:23] let me just grab this 10 minutes

[00:49:25] because I don't have enough time

[00:49:25] to like

[00:49:26] start doing this

[00:49:27] or start doing that

[00:49:28] but I have 10 minutes

[00:49:28] I can like

[00:49:29] just do a little google search

[00:49:30] about this thing

[00:49:30] I wanted to know about

[00:49:31] you know what I mean

[00:49:31] so like

[00:49:32] your brain starts to like

[00:49:34] fill in all the nooks and crannies

[00:49:35] of your time

[00:49:36] with like

[00:49:36] okay

[00:49:37] I'm in novel mode now

[00:49:38] but

[00:49:39] yeah

[00:49:40] I'll have to see

[00:49:40] I'm gonna see

[00:49:41] like you know

[00:49:41] I've been talking about this

[00:49:42] for a while

[00:49:43] and I think

[00:49:43] even at the beginning

[00:49:44] of this year

[00:49:44] I was like

[00:49:45] you know what

[00:49:45] I'm just gonna stop

[00:49:46] putting the pressure

[00:49:46] on myself

[00:49:48] and if I'm just the guy

[00:49:49] that writes short stories

[00:49:49] then I'm just the guy

[00:49:50] that writes short stories

[00:49:51] and there's nothing wrong

[00:49:51] with that

[00:49:52] you know

[00:49:53] right

[00:49:54] I think the problem is

[00:49:55] it's like it's just looming

[00:49:56] in the back of my head

[00:49:57] that there are longer stories

[00:49:58] that I want to tell

[00:50:00] and um

[00:50:01] you know

[00:50:01] they're not gonna get told

[00:50:02] if I don't do it

[00:50:03] right

[00:50:04] so

[00:50:05] I think narrowing down

[00:50:06] which one exactly

[00:50:07] I want to work on

[00:50:08] is gonna be the

[00:50:10] the big thing

[00:50:11] and I mean

[00:50:12] you're familiar with both of them

[00:50:13] I think I've even talked about

[00:50:14] both of them on the podcast

[00:50:14] I don't need to go into that now

[00:50:16] but that might be a conversation

[00:50:17] that I ping you for

[00:50:19] like offline

[00:50:20] just to kind of like

[00:50:21] pick your brain a little bit

[00:50:22] or I mean

[00:50:23] if you want to

[00:50:24] we could do that live

[00:50:25] on an episode

[00:50:26] and we can let the listeners

[00:50:27] help with that too

[00:50:29] um

[00:50:29] we can do that as well

[00:50:30] we'll figure it out

[00:50:31] maybe I'll think about that

[00:50:32] I'll kind of

[00:50:33] let that simmer

[00:50:34] you know

[00:50:35] for the next couple of weeks

[00:50:36] and then we're recording January

[00:50:37] maybe that'd be a good way

[00:50:38] to kick off the year

[00:50:39] yeah maybe

[00:50:40] so um

[00:50:41] I'll start to get my stuff together

[00:50:42] and we can talk

[00:50:43] but um

[00:50:44] yeah

[00:50:44] that's uh

[00:50:45] that's my story for this month

[00:50:47] for you guys

[00:50:47] I hope it wasn't too depressing

[00:50:49] for uh

[00:50:49] for Christmas

[00:50:50] but I think there's uh

[00:50:52] I don't know

[00:50:52] there's

[00:50:53] there's some sense of like

[00:50:54] happiness

[00:50:55] like uh

[00:50:55] that comes out of that

[00:50:56] I think

[00:50:57] yeah

[00:50:57] you left it off

[00:50:58] with a positive note

[00:50:59] positive message

[00:51:00] it's

[00:51:01] it's

[00:51:01] it's a little unusual for me

[00:51:02] but I mean that

[00:51:03] that

[00:51:03] I think it carries through

[00:51:04] and was true to the

[00:51:06] the characters and stuff

[00:51:07] that I created over the past

[00:51:08] oh I agree

[00:51:09] yeah

[00:51:09] so um

[00:51:11] yeah

[00:51:12] all right

[00:51:13] well

[00:51:14] um

[00:51:16] well

[00:51:16] I guess

[00:51:17] before we go

[00:51:18] what are you reading right now

[00:51:19] uh

[00:51:20] I am finishing up

[00:51:21] Casino Royale

[00:51:22] by Ian Fleming

[00:51:23] now

[00:51:24] now I'm assuming

[00:51:24] this is a reread for you

[00:51:25] right

[00:51:26] this is actually my third time through

[00:51:28] I'm rereading

[00:51:29] the uh

[00:51:30] the Bond novels

[00:51:30] okay

[00:51:31] since I'm gonna start a spy

[00:51:33] a spy thriller

[00:51:34] sort of thing next

[00:51:36] um

[00:51:36] I was trying to

[00:51:37] put myself in that headspace

[00:51:39] a little bit

[00:51:39] and it's very much

[00:51:40] very much

[00:51:41] a nod to Fleming

[00:51:42] you know

[00:51:43] I don't want it to be

[00:51:43] overly derivative

[00:51:45] sure

[00:51:45] and it's not

[00:51:46] it's not like what I consider

[00:51:47] um

[00:51:48] official Ian Lewis canon

[00:51:49] so to speak

[00:51:50] sure

[00:51:51] like some of the other stuff

[00:51:52] I've done

[00:51:52] but it's just

[00:51:53] it's just sort of a

[00:51:54] just for

[00:51:55] I'm just doing it for fun

[00:51:56] I like it

[00:51:57] I like the approach

[00:51:59] I like the just for fun approach

[00:52:00] I like the

[00:52:01] the spy thing

[00:52:02] um

[00:52:03] you know

[00:52:04] Ian

[00:52:04] Ian Fleming was obviously

[00:52:06] you know

[00:52:06] a big inspiration for you

[00:52:08] so like

[00:52:09] I think going back

[00:52:10] and

[00:52:10] and

[00:52:10] we all know

[00:52:11] how you love Bond

[00:52:12] so entering the spy world

[00:52:13] like

[00:52:14] I'm ready for it

[00:52:15] yeah

[00:52:16] it's uh

[00:52:16] I've got some ideas

[00:52:18] but

[00:52:18] I'm not quite

[00:52:19] there yet

[00:52:20] ready to write yet

[00:52:20] so

[00:52:21] like

[00:52:22] did you have your character created

[00:52:23] oh yeah

[00:52:24] this is a character that we've seen

[00:52:25] in the podcast

[00:52:26] a number of times

[00:52:27] oh

[00:52:27] fun

[00:52:28] we've done

[00:52:29] I've done two

[00:52:31] actual podcast stories

[00:52:32] and then one of the

[00:52:34] NYC Midnight Flash Fiction stories

[00:52:36] oh

[00:52:37] super fun

[00:52:38] I don't

[00:52:39] did

[00:52:39] did you tell me that last month

[00:52:42] or am I learning this

[00:52:43] for the first time now

[00:52:44] you probably just forgot

[00:52:45] um

[00:52:46] first season

[00:52:46] freaking A

[00:52:47] it's like the second or third episode

[00:52:49] um

[00:52:50] is where he first appears

[00:52:52] John

[00:52:52] John Post is his name

[00:52:53] yeah

[00:52:54] you know what

[00:52:54] I'm gonna go back

[00:52:55] and revisit those stories

[00:52:57] yeah

[00:52:57] the other story is like

[00:52:58] season four or five

[00:52:59] something like that

[00:53:00] all right

[00:53:01] no that's really exciting

[00:53:02] I'm

[00:53:03] I'm

[00:53:03] I'm down for it

[00:53:04] so

[00:53:04] but you're very much

[00:53:05] in the

[00:53:05] in the pre-writing stages here

[00:53:07] just kind of

[00:53:07] researching

[00:53:08] yeah

[00:53:08] I'm like scouting

[00:53:09] locations

[00:53:10] trying to understand

[00:53:11] because it's gonna be

[00:53:12] a period piece

[00:53:13] so it's like

[00:53:13] I need to get

[00:53:14] the times and places

[00:53:16] accurate

[00:53:16] sure

[00:53:17] as much as I can

[00:53:18] um

[00:53:19] and I have ideas

[00:53:20] for some characters

[00:53:21] but I don't have

[00:53:22] a plot yet really

[00:53:23] I kind of

[00:53:23] I have an idea

[00:53:24] where I want it to end

[00:53:25] the like the location

[00:53:26] where I want it to be

[00:53:27] so I'm like

[00:53:27] how do I

[00:53:28] how do you get them there

[00:53:29] how do I get them there

[00:53:30] which is the worst

[00:53:31] actual thing to do

[00:53:32] as a writer

[00:53:32] of any story

[00:53:33] I think is to start with

[00:53:35] the end in some cases

[00:53:36] maybe

[00:53:37] because then you

[00:53:37] everything you do

[00:53:38] can feel contrived

[00:53:39] to get you to that point

[00:53:40] you know what I mean

[00:53:40] for sure

[00:53:41] but once you get there

[00:53:42] like once you have

[00:53:43] the revelation

[00:53:44] that's like

[00:53:45] this is how I'm gonna

[00:53:45] get them there

[00:53:46] it's awesome

[00:53:47] I may abandon it

[00:53:49] you know what I mean

[00:53:49] like if I have a better

[00:53:50] if my good plot

[00:53:52] if I get

[00:53:52] when I finally get the plot idea

[00:53:54] if it's a good idea

[00:53:55] that says

[00:53:56] okay you need to go

[00:53:57] in this other direction

[00:53:58] then I'm gonna scrap

[00:53:58] what I'm thinking about now

[00:53:59] but

[00:54:00] sure

[00:54:00] there was an aspect

[00:54:01] to Fleming stories

[00:54:03] where they weren't

[00:54:05] like a Jean Le Car

[00:54:07] hard boiled spy

[00:54:08] thriller

[00:54:09] that were like

[00:54:10] grounded in reality

[00:54:11] there was always

[00:54:11] a little bit of

[00:54:12] element of absurdity

[00:54:13] or fantasy to them

[00:54:15] that kind of like

[00:54:16] they straddle the fence

[00:54:17] and that's what I think

[00:54:18] is really fun

[00:54:18] and so I was trying

[00:54:19] to capture that vibe

[00:54:20] of like

[00:54:20] you know

[00:54:21] this larger than life

[00:54:23] fantastic scenario

[00:54:24] quasi fantastic scenario

[00:54:26] but still kind of

[00:54:27] anchored by

[00:54:28] realistic flourishes

[00:54:29] so

[00:54:29] gotcha

[00:54:30] we'll see

[00:54:31] gotcha

[00:54:31] no I'm ready for it

[00:54:32] I can't wait

[00:54:33] I mean I know

[00:54:34] I got a while

[00:54:34] do you think that

[00:54:35] if like everything

[00:54:36] goes right

[00:54:36] this would be like

[00:54:37] a 2025 release

[00:54:38] I mean it could be

[00:54:40] because I don't think

[00:54:40] the book's gonna be

[00:54:41] that long

[00:54:41] you know

[00:54:42] it's not gonna be

[00:54:43] a super long thing

[00:54:45] but it's just

[00:54:46] you know

[00:54:46] I think once I get

[00:54:47] the plot idea

[00:54:48] it's gonna be

[00:54:49] it's gonna come together

[00:54:50] quick writing part of it

[00:54:51] it's just I don't have

[00:54:53] I don't know what my

[00:54:54] villain is

[00:54:54] or what he does yet

[00:54:56] so

[00:54:57] gotcha

[00:54:57] and that's gonna be

[00:54:58] that's gonna be key

[00:54:59] so

[00:55:00] well I wish you

[00:55:01] the best of luck

[00:55:02] and I mean

[00:55:03] I'm ready for it

[00:55:04] like I'd read it

[00:55:05] tomorrow if I could

[00:55:05] well actually

[00:55:06] I wouldn't read it

[00:55:06] tomorrow if I could

[00:55:07] because I'm in the

[00:55:08] middle of

[00:55:08] well I shouldn't

[00:55:09] say in the middle

[00:55:10] but I'm currently

[00:55:12] reading

[00:55:14] Riders of the Black

[00:55:15] Cowl by Ian Lewis

[00:55:16] which is our third

[00:55:17] stop in the

[00:55:18] Reef series

[00:55:19] right

[00:55:19] how far into it

[00:55:20] are you

[00:55:21] yeah it's book

[00:55:21] three yeah

[00:55:22] so I

[00:55:23] it's funny because

[00:55:24] I finished

[00:55:25] the book I was

[00:55:26] reading previously

[00:55:27] and I just sat down

[00:55:28] and I'm like I'm

[00:55:28] gonna read the

[00:55:29] first chapter

[00:55:29] and at the end

[00:55:30] of the first chapter

[00:55:31] I was like holy

[00:55:32] shit this is gonna

[00:55:33] be awesome

[00:55:34] like

[00:55:36] because

[00:55:36] and I'm not giving

[00:55:37] anything away

[00:55:37] but you know what

[00:55:38] happens at the end

[00:55:39] of the first chapter

[00:55:39] and then we

[00:55:41] like then there's a

[00:55:42] time jump where we

[00:55:43] go two days earlier

[00:55:44] in chapter two

[00:55:45] so I want to say

[00:55:47] that like I'm not

[00:55:48] very far along

[00:55:48] I'm like chapter

[00:55:49] seven or eight

[00:55:50] I think what just

[00:55:51] happened is there

[00:55:52] was a

[00:55:54] an old woman

[00:55:55] that arrived

[00:55:56] via carriage

[00:55:58] to

[00:55:59] Belden Ridge

[00:56:00] yeah to Belden Ridge

[00:56:01] what's the name of

[00:56:02] the building

[00:56:02] that the reef stays

[00:56:04] in with the orphans

[00:56:05] Brook and Feldhall

[00:56:06] yes so

[00:56:07] she pulled up there

[00:56:08] and I believe

[00:56:09] that she has just

[00:56:10] been let in

[00:56:11] now I'm going to

[00:56:12] say for the record

[00:56:13] that I do not

[00:56:14] trust this old woman

[00:56:15] or do I trust

[00:56:16] that this is an

[00:56:17] old woman

[00:56:18] I think there is

[00:56:19] something shady

[00:56:20] going on in

[00:56:21] Belden Ridge right

[00:56:22] now and I need

[00:56:23] to get to the

[00:56:23] bottom of it

[00:56:25] and it's frustrating

[00:56:26] because you

[00:56:27] you you're thinking

[00:56:28] about this

[00:56:29] and you know

[00:56:30] the reef isn't

[00:56:31] around

[00:56:33] so like tension

[00:56:34] is building

[00:56:35] so like if this

[00:56:36] sounds exciting

[00:56:36] to any of you

[00:56:37] out there

[00:56:37] you go buy

[00:56:38] the goddamn

[00:56:38] book

[00:56:39] read it

[00:56:40] if you're

[00:56:41] Kindle Unlimited

[00:56:41] there's no reason

[00:56:42] you shouldn't be

[00:56:42] reading it

[00:56:43] I got I got

[00:56:44] nothing but good

[00:56:45] things to say

[00:56:45] so far

[00:56:46] so I'm like

[00:56:47] I should be done

[00:56:48] with it by the time

[00:56:48] we talk next

[00:56:49] okay

[00:56:50] because like

[00:56:51] not like I

[00:56:52] I started reading

[00:56:53] it I read that

[00:56:54] first chapter and

[00:56:54] then I had

[00:56:55] finals week

[00:56:56] which means I

[00:56:57] had a ton of

[00:56:57] essays to grade

[00:56:58] so I kind of

[00:56:59] just like set it

[00:56:59] aside got

[00:57:01] through that

[00:57:01] week got all

[00:57:03] my grades turned

[00:57:04] in and then I

[00:57:04] actually sat down

[00:57:05] and read started

[00:57:06] it from the

[00:57:06] beginning again

[00:57:07] so my current

[00:57:08] reading pace isn't

[00:57:09] super fast I'd

[00:57:10] read like two three

[00:57:11] chapters a day

[00:57:12] maybe but maybe

[00:57:14] that'll increase now

[00:57:15] that there's really

[00:57:15] like I'm off work

[00:57:18] we're on break

[00:57:19] for school like

[00:57:20] the only thing I

[00:57:20] really have to do

[00:57:21] is edit this podcast

[00:57:22] so that it's ready

[00:57:23] for Christmas Day

[00:57:24] and then write the

[00:57:24] next story so

[00:57:26] I'm hoping to get

[00:57:26] caught up on some

[00:57:27] reading and some

[00:57:27] other stuff that I

[00:57:29] have been putting

[00:57:29] off for a while

[00:57:30] I can't wait to

[00:57:30] get your thoughts

[00:57:30] on it

[00:57:31] yeah I mean like

[00:57:34] I'm pretty well

[00:57:35] invested as of

[00:57:36] right now so I

[00:57:36] think it's safe to

[00:57:37] say that I'm

[00:57:38] probably gonna plow

[00:57:38] right through this

[00:57:39] we'll just see

[00:57:40] like what the

[00:57:40] holidays has in

[00:57:41] mind for me

[00:57:43] but yeah I

[00:57:44] fully intend on

[00:57:45] being done with

[00:57:46] this and then

[00:57:47] maybe I'll hit

[00:57:48] you up but I did

[00:57:49] want to ask you

[00:57:49] before we go like

[00:57:50] you when we

[00:57:51] talked last you

[00:57:52] were reading this

[00:57:52] like crazy

[00:57:54] philosophy book that

[00:57:55] was written in like

[00:57:56] the 500s oh

[00:57:57] yeah the

[00:57:58] consolation of

[00:57:59] philosophy yeah

[00:57:59] yeah how was

[00:58:00] that it was it

[00:58:02] was interesting I'm

[00:58:03] glad I read it

[00:58:04] it wasn't a hard

[00:58:05] because it's

[00:58:06] translated right so

[00:58:07] it's it's written in

[00:58:07] a way that you can

[00:58:08] understand it was

[00:58:09] it written in like

[00:58:09] Russian or something

[00:58:10] like that or Latin

[00:58:11] no it was originally

[00:58:13] Latin so it wasn't

[00:58:14] hard to understand

[00:58:15] what was being said

[00:58:16] necessarily but it

[00:58:18] was it was still

[00:58:19] written in a way that

[00:58:20] was like it it's it

[00:58:23] was good that it

[00:58:23] was a shorter work

[00:58:24] because like to

[00:58:24] have read the

[00:58:25] whole a longer

[00:58:26] version of this

[00:58:27] would have been a

[00:58:28] little tiring I

[00:58:29] think okay um

[00:58:30] because it's written

[00:58:31] in like it's not

[00:58:33] poetry the type of

[00:58:34] poetry that you

[00:58:35] hate it it's written

[00:58:36] more in like a

[00:58:37] prose poetry there's

[00:58:38] no rhyming or

[00:58:39] anything it's just

[00:58:40] like but it's it's

[00:58:41] meant to be um

[00:58:42] written in like a

[00:58:44] symbolic way I guess

[00:58:45] maybe and so

[00:58:46] there's all kinds of

[00:58:47] references to like

[00:58:48] you know real life

[00:58:50] political things that

[00:58:52] went on during the day

[00:58:53] there's references

[00:58:54] to like Greek

[00:58:55] mythology there's

[00:58:57] you know there's

[00:58:58] there's references

[00:58:59] to deity there's you

[00:59:01] know there's all

[00:59:01] these things that

[00:59:02] are interwoven and

[00:59:02] like he's conversing

[00:59:03] with like this this

[00:59:05] female character who's

[00:59:07] supposed to be a

[00:59:07] personification of like

[00:59:08] wisdom or or

[00:59:09] whatever philosophy and

[00:59:11] so like there's all

[00:59:12] like these you know

[00:59:14] things that are it

[00:59:15] it's it's it's

[00:59:16] portrayed in a

[00:59:18] fanciful way

[00:59:19] almost um in the

[00:59:21] way that it's all put

[00:59:22] together so but

[00:59:24] he's going through

[00:59:25] all these arguments

[00:59:26] and back and

[00:59:27] forth with this

[00:59:28] character trying to

[00:59:29] arrive at a

[00:59:30] conclusion that

[00:59:31] despite his his

[00:59:33] suffering that you

[00:59:34] know life is still

[00:59:34] good kind of a

[00:59:35] thing

[00:59:35] interesting I kind

[00:59:36] of want to read

[00:59:37] it like do you

[00:59:38] think it's like up

[00:59:39] my alley or no

[00:59:41] I don't think it's

[00:59:42] up your alley at

[00:59:42] all but I wouldn't

[00:59:43] say that that's a

[00:59:44] reason for you to

[00:59:45] not read it per se

[00:59:46] because I think it's

[00:59:46] probably good to read

[00:59:47] stuff outside your

[00:59:48] normal stuff sometimes

[00:59:50] but I agree and if

[00:59:53] anything I'm really

[00:59:54] just kind of curious

[00:59:55] about like the

[00:59:56] mindset of somebody

[00:59:57] who lived in the

[00:59:59] 500s you know it's

[01:00:01] it's it's wild to me

[01:00:02] like so it's it's

[01:00:03] actually it doesn't

[01:00:05] stand out as

[01:00:06] something that's like

[01:00:07] completely foreign to

[01:00:08] modernity I don't

[01:00:09] think like it and it

[01:00:11] could be partially due

[01:00:11] to the translation that

[01:00:12] helps that sure

[01:00:13] because the translation

[01:00:14] obviously is not that

[01:00:15] old but it's you

[01:00:17] know it doesn't read

[01:00:18] as like oh this is

[01:00:19] some like archaic

[01:00:20] thing that I can't

[01:00:20] relate to you know

[01:00:21] what I mean I think

[01:00:22] it's it's much more

[01:00:23] accessible than you

[01:00:24] think and that's what

[01:00:25] I'm I find interesting

[01:00:26] about it that and

[01:00:27] along with the simple

[01:00:28] fact that like the

[01:00:30] words that we're

[01:00:30] putting down on the

[01:00:31] page there's

[01:00:32] potential that somebody

[01:00:33] like 1700 years from

[01:00:35] now might find it

[01:00:36] and read it that's

[01:00:37] wild to me like this

[01:00:39] just absolutely crazy

[01:00:41] so I mean I think

[01:00:42] curiosity makes me want

[01:00:44] to read it more than

[01:00:44] anything yeah I mean

[01:00:46] I think you could do

[01:00:46] it maybe in smaller

[01:00:47] doses maybe you'd

[01:00:49] like it but I don't

[01:00:50] know so do you think

[01:00:51] it's something I could

[01:00:51] probably like read along

[01:00:52] with something else

[01:00:54] like while I'm reading

[01:00:55] something else jump in

[01:00:56] here for a chapter

[01:00:56] every now and then or

[01:00:58] do I need to do it

[01:00:59] all in one sitting you

[01:00:59] think well not one

[01:01:01] sitting but like

[01:01:02] maintain like you you

[01:01:03] I mean you you could

[01:01:05] it's um you know it

[01:01:07] it does sort of build

[01:01:09] on what said in prior

[01:01:12] segments little so

[01:01:13] you don't want to be

[01:01:14] too far separated from

[01:01:15] it right because you

[01:01:16] kind of want to remember

[01:01:17] what was previously

[01:01:17] talked about but okay

[01:01:19] fair enough but yeah

[01:01:21] it's it's I would say

[01:01:22] it's definitely probably

[01:01:23] not your normal cup of

[01:01:24] tea for sure but yeah

[01:01:25] I might try it anyways

[01:01:26] we'll see what happens

[01:01:27] I gotta find out with

[01:01:29] what's what's happening

[01:01:30] in Belden Ridge first

[01:01:31] though like like I'm

[01:01:32] pretty sure some shit's

[01:01:33] gonna go down yeah

[01:01:35] you're getting you're

[01:01:36] you're getting close I

[01:01:37] think to well it's

[01:01:38] funny though because

[01:01:39] like I think it like

[01:01:40] this is just a testament

[01:01:41] to like how good the

[01:01:42] characters you've created

[01:01:43] are and it's just like

[01:01:45] we're so early on into

[01:01:47] this book right or I'm

[01:01:48] so early on into this

[01:01:49] book and they're just

[01:01:50] like traveling from town

[01:01:51] to town like literally

[01:01:52] we got a group of guys

[01:01:53] going from one town to

[01:01:55] another and it's just

[01:01:56] like they this carriage

[01:01:58] approaches them and

[01:02:00] they're like wait wait

[01:02:01] wait wait wait what the

[01:02:03] fuck are you doing on

[01:02:04] our road kind of like

[01:02:05] there was just like they

[01:02:06] didn't really say that but

[01:02:07] it was just like there's

[01:02:08] this thing where it's

[01:02:09] just like well they

[01:02:10] better stop and we

[01:02:11] better find out what

[01:02:11] these fuckers are up to

[01:02:12] and I'm just like wow

[01:02:14] it's like they have so

[01:02:16] much like there's so

[01:02:17] much presence where

[01:02:18] they're just like I

[01:02:19] don't know like these

[01:02:21] these characters seem

[01:02:22] larger than life to me

[01:02:23] which which I'm kind of

[01:02:24] excited that's it

[01:02:25] that's interesting

[01:02:26] because like that's

[01:02:28] not how I I had the

[01:02:29] scene in my mind so

[01:02:30] to speak like that but

[01:02:32] but it's interesting

[01:02:33] that that's how you that's

[01:02:35] what you get from it

[01:02:35] because I and this is

[01:02:36] what I the feedback that

[01:02:37] I'm so interested in

[01:02:38] because it's like I

[01:02:39] know how it is in my

[01:02:40] head I have no idea

[01:02:41] how it reads to somebody

[01:02:42] else you know yeah

[01:02:43] because like to me and

[01:02:44] this is just and it's

[01:02:45] probably maybe it's just

[01:02:46] because maybe like

[01:02:48] Logan has different

[01:02:50] personality traits than

[01:02:51] me but like I think

[01:02:52] that if I was just like

[01:02:53] going down a road with

[01:02:55] my buddies to another

[01:02:55] town and there was a

[01:02:57] car carriage passing

[01:02:58] the other way I'd just

[01:02:59] be like hey what's up

[01:03:00] just like mind my

[01:03:01] business and keep going

[01:03:02] on my way but like they

[01:03:04] stop and they're like

[01:03:05] where are you headed

[01:03:05] who you got back

[01:03:07] there they keep like

[01:03:07] peeking to try to see

[01:03:09] who's in the back

[01:03:09] I'm just like well

[01:03:11] they have good reason

[01:03:13] to do so and you're

[01:03:13] just like good reason

[01:03:14] to do so though he's

[01:03:15] he's a you know

[01:03:17] effect you know

[01:03:18] effectively law

[01:03:18] enforcement officer

[01:03:19] and his city was just

[01:03:21] attacked and it's

[01:03:22] like so he's he's

[01:03:23] suspicious he is but

[01:03:24] if I was the other

[01:03:25] person I'd be like what

[01:03:26] the fuck do you care

[01:03:27] what I have back here

[01:03:28] it's mine oh yeah but

[01:03:30] no I I'm I'm real

[01:03:31] excited and I'm I'm

[01:03:32] fairly certain that

[01:03:33] that's not a woman

[01:03:34] like I don't want

[01:03:35] any spoilers but

[01:03:36] like I think something

[01:03:37] something's something

[01:03:38] is about to happen

[01:03:39] that is going to be

[01:03:39] no good okay well

[01:03:41] keep reading yeah I'm

[01:03:42] gonna keep reading it

[01:03:43] and I hope I'm right

[01:03:45] or I hope I'm wrong

[01:03:46] but whatever it is

[01:03:47] like I can tell you

[01:03:48] that it's making me

[01:03:49] think which is always

[01:03:50] a good sign okay I

[01:03:52] love like that's and

[01:03:54] I often wonder this

[01:03:56] and like I know I'm

[01:03:57] rambling now and I

[01:03:59] wanted to keep the

[01:04:00] episode short but like

[01:04:01] do you ever like find

[01:04:03] it hard to separate

[01:04:04] yourself from the

[01:04:06] writer in you when

[01:04:07] you're reading and

[01:04:08] like constantly trying

[01:04:09] to figure out like

[01:04:10] what's gonna happen

[01:04:11] next or see if you can

[01:04:12] detect like little

[01:04:13] clues that like you

[01:04:14] know the average

[01:04:15] reader might not pick

[01:04:16] up on or something

[01:04:17] like that um no not

[01:04:20] with a story generally

[01:04:21] I I want to be

[01:04:23] entertained you know

[01:04:23] what I mean so I I

[01:04:25] really try to approach

[01:04:26] it with an open mind

[01:04:27] what I find myself

[01:04:28] doing as a writer is

[01:04:29] critiquing the actual

[01:04:31] writing itself got so

[01:04:33] like the technical

[01:04:34] aspect of it and that

[01:04:35] sort of thing not so

[01:04:36] much the story gotcha

[01:04:38] anyways uh we should

[01:04:40] probably wrap up so

[01:04:40] that uh you can get to

[01:04:42] your first Christmas of

[01:04:43] the year and I can get

[01:04:43] back to reading so um

[01:04:47] as always we want to

[01:04:49] know what you want us

[01:04:49] to write about to do so

[01:04:51] you're going to want to

[01:04:51] join our Facebook group

[01:04:52] it's facebook.com

[01:04:53] slash group slash p

[01:04:54] written pod we're also

[01:04:56] on exit p written pod or

[01:04:58] you can email us

[01:04:58] directly at promptly

[01:04:59] written pod at gmail.com

[01:05:02] uh Ian where's the

[01:05:04] best place for people to

[01:05:05] go to find out more

[01:05:05] about your work

[01:05:06] uh Ian Lewis fiction.com

[01:05:08] and uh if you want to

[01:05:09] find out more about me

[01:05:10] I'm at magic Eric on

[01:05:12] Instagram or you can go

[01:05:13] to magic Eric.com for a

[01:05:14] bunch of other ways to

[01:05:14] reach out uh just a

[01:05:16] reminder that volumes

[01:05:17] one through five of

[01:05:17] promptly written are

[01:05:18] available on Amazon in

[01:05:19] both paperback and

[01:05:20] Kindle format and if

[01:05:21] you're a Kindle

[01:05:21] unlimited subscriber

[01:05:22] they're all included in

[01:05:23] your subscription and as

[01:05:25] I read this I can

[01:05:27] realize that now that I

[01:05:28] have this free time with

[01:05:30] nothing to do I might be

[01:05:31] able to get those

[01:05:31] manuscripts done for

[01:05:32] volume six so we can get

[01:05:33] that in your hands

[01:05:34] sometime soon uh we'll

[01:05:36] just go ahead and add

[01:05:37] that to the task list

[01:05:38] for my vacation

[01:05:40] our next episode will be

[01:05:41] episode 77 it'll drop on

[01:05:43] January 13th it's a

[01:05:45] little different than

[01:05:45] normal it's a second

[01:05:46] Monday of the month but

[01:05:48] it's just because of the

[01:05:49] way our my vacation

[01:05:50] landed so uh we're just

[01:05:52] giving ourselves an

[01:05:52] extra week there the

[01:05:53] prompt will be equitable

[01:05:56] equanimity everyone

[01:05:57] now I'm gonna say that

[01:05:59] one more time because

[01:05:59] it's really hard Utah

[01:06:02] equitable equanimity

[01:06:03] everyone equitable

[01:06:05] equanimity everyone

[01:06:07] submitted by Utah shoe

[01:06:09] thanks Utah like I

[01:06:10] literally saw that and I

[01:06:11] was like you've got to

[01:06:12] be freaking kidding

[01:06:13] I don't know what to

[01:06:14] do with that I have no

[01:06:15] idea what to do with

[01:06:16] that and we have less

[01:06:17] time than usual to do

[01:06:18] something with it so

[01:06:19] of course thank you Utah

[01:06:22] I can't wait although I

[01:06:23] will say that usually

[01:06:24] when he gives us these

[01:06:26] really weird ones we get

[01:06:28] some pretty good stories

[01:06:28] out of them so I'm

[01:06:29] excited to see what

[01:06:30] comes out of it if you

[01:06:32] like what you hear please

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